unit 5 psych notes SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS close relationships important interdependent provides some of the best and worst parts of life They can arouse intense positive and negative feelings passion concern caring best parts of life rage jealousy despair and darkest parts many types we will look at friendship love marriage and divorce we are social beings these relationships central to our lives social connectedness second only to personality trains in terms of predicting happiness social isolation associated with poor physical and mental health and antisocial behavior CULTURE AND RELATIONSHIPS cultures vary independent cultures tend to embrace marriage for love western and modern in collective cultures more likely to be arranged by families satisfaction NO DIFFERENCE stages or phases of relationships 1 initial attraction 2 getting acquainted 3 maintaining initial attraction 3 factors underline initial att between strangers PROXIMITY more likely to get involved with people we are physically near FAMILIARITY we being to like things we are exposed to repeatedly mere exposure effect exception what makes someone attractive PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS gender differences are important appear to be exaggerated key role in romance and friendships matching hypothesis exception important but NOT most important factor which is it birds of a feather ock together GETTING ACQUAINTED 3 factors affect viability of relationships 1 reciprocal liking we are more likely to like someone if we think they like us supported 2 similarity we are drawn to those with similar qualities age ed ses values ethnicity religion politics physical appearance personality interests 1 true in friendships and romantic relationships 2 similar attitudes play a key role 3 starts very young 3 desirable personality characteristics for future life partners personal qualities more important than physical traits most desirable traits were kindness and understanding warmth good sense of humor social assertiveness emotional stability dependability MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS social exchange theory process 1 we asses cost and benefits what we get what we give what are some 2 we determine relationship outcome what is the balance 3 we determine relationship satisfaction positive balance no guarantee you stay negative balance no guarantee you go we accept different balances based on expectations past others fantasy ction 4 we look at our commitment investments and alternatives STERNBERGS TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE relationships consist of a combo of 3 components 1 passion motivational force intensity desire sexual 2 intimacy emotional component closeness warmth sharing 3 commitment cognitive component decisions different combos create different types of relationships the course of romantic love theory predicts strength of components vary across time typical pattern successful romantic relationship 1 passion peaks early then decreases in intensity 2 intimacy commitment increase over time relationships can change categories which are happiest IT DEPENDS relationships where both want what they are getting when real life expectations desires MARRIAGE people are optimistic about marriage 1 that marry 90 meadian men 27 women almost 26 2 think single happy marriage 70 3 Actual 33 DIVORCE remarry divorce rate likely to divorce 40 45 higher with separation when 75 avg 4 years 2nd marriage divorce 3rd 65 reasons men and women communication problems basic unhappiness incompatable women report more in delity alc abuse by partner physical and emotional abuse more likely to get a divorce if your parents were divorced NO proven reliable predictors of marital success risk factors increased over general public if 1 your parents divorced 2 you marry young women before 22 men before 24 3 you marry late 4 you have a short courtship 5 you are a perfectionist or insecure 6 you score high on Big Five traits of neuroticism high agreeableness and conscientiousness may protect 7 you are are working or lower class 8 you had problems getting along during courtship communication problems cited as major problems to many possible prediction exception contempt not how much you ght but how you ght ght with love respect humor can be ok with disgust and contempt work of john Gottman may need to x feelings rst DIVORCE AND KIDS about 1 2 of divorces involve kids divorce is associated with increased problems for kids BUT often not lack of skills but lack of willingness motivation to use them comm problems often sx of other problems WHAT IS SEEN varied anything internal and external fortunately most 75 doing well 2 3 years later pre divorce levels of f important factor SHOULD YOU STAY MARRIED no bad marriages bad too for kids and adults things besides DIVORCE but associated with that could be real cause of diff life changes stress decreased strandard of living decrease quality of parenting temp continued con ict hostility visits decrease step family adjustments 1 3 support groups and counseling can be bene cial EMOTIONAL IQ powerful predictor of who does well in life re ects ability to know and manage own emotions behaviors and to connect with others good news we can teach emotional iq esp if we start early before middle adolescence daniel goleman 1995 expanded on ideas of Salovey and Mayer 1990 1 can you recognize and manage your anger 2 can you soothe yourself when you are distressed 3 can you control your impulses 4 can you read and respond to the emotions of others verbal and nonverbal like facial expressions all 4 important to successful social relationships candy study how would you do various studies on skills related to emotional iq predict later behavior circumstances more friends better grades less jail less teen preg THEORIES OF PERSONALITY de ne personality 1 the unique constellation of traits emotions motives and behaviors ex assumption that these are generally consistent stable and predictable over time and situation four theoretical perspectives on personality development 1 psychoanalytic 2 behavioristic 3 humanistic 4 trait perspectives perspectives used to explain disorders and plan treatments which one right they all have value PSYCHOANALYTIC psychodynamic personality re ects unconscious forces and con icts BEHAVIORISTIC cognitive behavior personality including thought patterns and beliefs consist of learned responses or habits HUMANISTIC focus on what makes us human feelings need for personal growth freedom of choice TRAIT PERSPECTIVES biological attempts to
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