5 2 2014 PSYC 2101 Notes Microsoft OneNote Web App Marriage and Intimate Relationships Ch 10 Sunday March 23 2014 8 53 PM According to the Chapter Marriage and love is really about Mate selection Communication Divorce Intimate Partner Violence What we are going to focus on Marriage Cohabitation Marital Relationship Satisfaction Divorce Abusive Relationships Mate Selection Preferences by Gender Socioeconomic status Intelligence Ambition Financial prospects Physical attractiveness Youthfulness Men Why Both Attractiveness similarity emotional stability dependability pleasant disposition Women Evolutionary Psychological Perspective All organisms are motivated to enhance their chances of passing on genes to subsequent generations Men look for women with good breeding potential Women look for men who will have more material resources to invest in children Society s preference and perspective on attractiveness youthfulness changes Theory assumes people do what cavemen did Stereotypes https onedrive live com edit aspx resid 7AF35F2B369F2BE4 1552 cid 7af35f2b369f2be4 app OneNote wdo 2 1 6 5 2 2014 PSYC 2101 Notes Microsoft OneNote Web App Doesn t take into account deviation Challenges to the Traditional Model of Marriage Marriage the legally and socially sanctioned union of sexually intimate adults Traditionally but not always it has also included Economic interdependence Common residence Sexual fidelity Shared responsibility for children Marriage age 27 for males 26 for females it is later now Has been increasing since mid 1960s What is causing changes in marriage Increased acceptance of singlehood People choose to get married later Reduced stigma associated with divorce Transitions in gender roles Women are more focused on secondary degrees and careers Increased voluntary childlessness decline of the traditional nuclear family No more leave it to Beaver blended families More common to see step half family members Increased acceptance of cohabitation Let s talk about cohabitation Between 1974 and 1994 the percentage of marriages preceded by cohabitation increased from 10 to 56 Majority of both male and female young adults favor cohabitation before marriage Almost 60 of high school seniors agreed with the statement It is usually a good idea for a couple to live together before getting married in order to find out whether they really get along Why Cohabitation Emotional and sexual intimacy without the obligations of marriage To test compatibility To prepare for marriage by practicing living with someone all the time To better know each other s habits character and fidelity A way to have a more intimate relationship without the risks of divorce or https onedrive live com edit aspx resid 7AF35F2B369F2BE4 1552 cid 7af35f2b369f2be4 app OneNote wdo 2 2 6 5 2 2014 PSYC 2101 Notes Microsoft OneNote Web App being trapped in an unhappy marriage Research Says about Cohabitation Cohabiting relationships are relatively short lived after 5 years only 10 of couples who cohabit and do not marry are still together Cohabitors who marry each other are 46 more likely to divorce than people who marry but have not cohabited first Cohabitation actually increases a couple s chances of being divorced No one has ever found that cohabitation positively contributes to marital stability Why Problematic People willing to live together are more unconventional thanothers and tend to be less committed to marriage as an institution Cohabitation s biggest attraction is the relatively easy exit with few responsibilities Experiment rather than commitment Cohabiters value independence more than non cohabiters Marriage involves less independence than living together Continued independence Cohabiters are more likely than non cohabiters to have negative attitudes about marriage More likely to accept divorce as a solution to marriage problems Issue of sliding instead of deciding Slide into marriage seems like it makes sense but deciding indicates and actual commitment Cohabitation with the intent of marriage mitigates negative effects of cohabitations 8 Reasons marriage is better 1 Cohabitors have a different persective on time than married people a Time limited vs forever b As long as im happy c Marriage by definition means I will always be here for you marrieds longterm contract encourages emotional investement in the relationship In contrast cohabitation for most seems to mean I will be here as long as the relationshp meets my needs 2 Cohabitation negatively affects the cohabiters children a Poor emotional development fear of parents breaking up https onedrive live com edit aspx resid 7AF35F2B369F2BE4 1552 cid 7af35f2b369f2be4 app OneNote wdo 2 3 6 5 2 2014 PSYC 2101 Notes Microsoft OneNote Web App b Separation economic price disadvantages i Child support is unclear because of a partner that is not their biological parent c Emotional price of separation lose a caring adult who may have taken a parental role but will do so no longer 3 Living without both parents increases the chance that a child will be abused a Happens when the mother is living with someone other than the child s biological father Boyfriends are disproportionately more likely to sexually or physically abuse their girlfriends children 4 Married couples are better off financially a Monitor spending and lower independence compared to cohabitors usually monitor each other in a way that emphasizes our spending plan or budget For most you money is my money 5 Married men earn more than single men 2 times as much a Married women have access to more of men s earnings than if they are 6 Cohabiters do not reap the physical health benefits enjoyed by married single or cohabiting couples a Non married people feel less healthy and have higher rates of mortality than married About 50 higher among women and 250 higher among men 7 Marrieds have better sex lives than cohabiters a Although cohabitors have sex at least as often as marrieds they are less likely to say they enjoy it Marrage adds the essential ingredients of commitment and security to one s sex life making it more satisfying In addition marrieds are more likely than cohabiters to perceive love and sex as intrinsically connected 8 Cohabitation may affect relationships with parents a In many families cohabitation is still considered morally wrong and embarrassing to extended family members 30 years of research shoes the marriage is superior to cohabitation Cohabitation is not an effective trial marriage Bottom Line