1 CHAPTER 8 Parenting parents think what they want for their child in terms of future they think of socialization practices and goals Control restrictive parents vs permissive parents Restrictive actively monitor behavior what they are up to who their friends are have strict rules that they expect child to obey expect child to internalize the rules that parents try to teach at the extreme end you do what I say you know what to do internalize these rules Permissive do little monitoring parents might not know much about child s friends and may have a set of rules but the rules are flexible sometimes rules are made up on the stop Most parents are somewhat in the middle of these two extreme spectrums Warmth Emotional support Emotional supportive parents engaging parents think it is important to know child s emotional needs talkative and converse with child engaged cheerful parent from film on attachment prototypical model of a responsive mother Cold hostile parents neglectful don t care much about child s emotional needs Baumrind research in parenting styles Using these dimensions she argued that she found four parenting styles parenting styles show how parents perceive their child reflect what parent may believe what the child needs and preparation for them for the future Also looked at child s behavior linked to these parenting styles and saw differences in behavior baby s behavior is a reflection on parenting baby s behavior makes sense Authoritative best parents were highly controlling and highly warmth parents knows who child interacts with and monitors behavior high expectations which reflect what parents want child to exhibit when away from home think child s autonomy is also important intent is to control by creating a democratic home life because parents think control is important and they want child to perceive that it is important allows child to have a voice confidence in parent that in the end the home life will be negotiated and child will feel self controlled child will buy in to I will listen in control in a reasonable way when leave home child will have similar environment child will be listened to thinking for yourself child s needs paid attention to because parents listen promotes a child s self reliance parent will admit to being wrong at times when they are wrong child s views are important Kids tend to be more cooperative with peers and adults well liked between both groups better in school tend to be socially responsible tend to be self reliant and independent kids encouraged to think Authoritarian controlling but cold emotionally low in support parents who for them control is important not important to hear child s voice just that they do what they are told behavior that will benefit child will be no talking back no questioning and don t act like that outside home no negotiating internalize rules that are expressed because obedience for the sake of obedience are important parents aren t child s friends because emotional needs don t really matter more likely to use physical punishment Kids who are more aggressive more uncomfortable and anxious in social situations more likely to be resentful angry kids lack independence and self reliance aggression begets aggression don t do as good in school as authoritative kids because kids aren t encouraged to think as much but they can t do poorly in school Permissive low in control also loving and emotionally supportive parents who think not putting rules or guidelines or limits is too confining low control is a choice 2 restrictions limit child s development parents care through a free environment child has freedom Kids are rebellious egocentric and selfish tend to be lower in school achievement than other two categories poorer peer relations because kids don t like other kids who can do whatever they want because these kids don t have restrictions at home Neglectful low in control low in warmth uninvolved non engaged non responsive parents who avoided task of parenting parents lack of concern for task Kids are aggressive non compliant kids at later time are more likely to have psychological distress such as depression insecure category in attachment Baumrind interested in parental warmth Might have a mom who is disorganized and may be abusive but if most of the time there was warmth or support in the household then that will reflect child s positive outcomes later Having emotional behavior can help child s behavior Positive relationships are linked to Attachment Kid s curiosity Higher problem solving skills Pro social behavior in kids Positive peer relations Kid s self esteem Kid s role taking skills Kid s enthalpy Likelihood that a child will experience guilt when experiencing a transgression kids from warmth families who when committing an act that hurts another s rights they will feel guilty about it Looked at orphanages found that a group of mother s who asked state to abort child were denied privileges and studied these children found that kids from unloving cold and different household had Unstable ties to parents High in anxiety Difficult temperament Poor grades in school Less integrated into peer groups within schools More likely to receive psychiatric care than would be normal for population rates for seeking care were higher than expected Baumrind therefore argued that warmth is needed Discipline Styles Hoffman Identified three styles that can characterize how parents approach behavior when parent has to discipline child they will choose one of the following disciplines Power assertive use superior power to control child punish child from moving them from where they are or taking something away also includes physical punishment take away privileges Love withdrawal take or threaten to take affection for kid because of what you have done take away emotional support can t deal with you right now until you change your behavior Induction authoritative parents parents explain what they did rationalize with child what they did why it was wrong and how you can change your behavior Discipline Styles Love withdrawal parents who punish kids by denying access to support and withdrawing love I can t look at you right now go away Kids are emotional insecure because their parent s affection for them is conditional kids more inclined to anxiety emotional insecurity outburst of emotions 3 Power Assertion parent physically moves child from situation taking a privileges away or physical punishment Kids are more likely to use