Gerontology October 3 2012 Coping with loss Bereavement Transition to Widowhood Major developmental transition involves changes in multiple life domains More common for women than for men Women outlive men Women also tend to marry older men More than loss of a spouse often left alone changes to all aspects of life Grief Mourning Bereavement loss of vital relationship Anticipatory grief grief for a loved one prior to his her death usually occurring when loved one has terminal illness that may allow survivors to prepare Grief how the survivor feels Varies from person to person Affects all spheres of life Intensifies physiological wear tear on the body The Transition to Widowhood Immediately after loss Research finds increased risk of negative outcomes Grief interacts with other changes Greater risks at older ages Over the long term Research suggest most adjust to the transition Effects on health greatly diminished Bereavement The Context of Loss Adjustment related to Age gender health status Anticipated vs sudden expected Adequacy of social support coping resources Quality of the marital relationship before death Gender Differences Men and women react differently Who has a more difficult time men or women It depends on the outcome that we are measuring Widowers men Higher risk of illness or death following loss Loss of primary confidante their spouse Unprepared to live life alone ex struggle with household tasks Isolated less likely to take attend support groups or social groups Widowers women Anticipated normative life course transition Widows suffer financial losses Resources Extensive social support network Increased risk of lowered standard of living poverty o Buffer from negative effects of widowhood o Benefit from having friends vs only adult children Death of a Same Sex Partner Common experience of loss regardless of marital status or sexual orientation May experience disenfranchised grief where right to grieve is unacknowledged Need same support development of support groups Special Considerations in Later Life Older adults grief experience is complex More likely to experience multiple losses over relatively brief periods of time Many older adults are resilient draw on prior experience to help cope Social supports may be diminished Listening without judgment or giving advice to the person s feeling Supporting the Grieving Process Realize that grieving is natural Be careful to avoid endless chatter or simplistic statements Resist telling your own stories Encourage sharing of memories stories Respect gender cultural differences Encourage meditation deep breathing self care exercise Identify concrete tasks which to help ex meals childcare Adapting to Widowhood Seek and take advantage of social support interaction from family friends Emphasize the benefits of Senior Centers support groups additional sources of social support avoid loneliness isolation Religious activities volunteer activities Loss of a Parent Natural part of the life course Between 35 54 death of father Between 45 64 death of mother Symbolic meaning to losing parent Loss of mother often most upsetting loss Reaction depends on age of adult child Sons daughters react differently
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