Colin McBride – Cultural Interview #2 - Transcript May 10, 2010According to the ADRESSING model developed by Pamela A. Hays and Letitia Nieto, Agent Rank inthe sexual orientation category is held by Heterosexuals. The Target Rank is held by Gay men,Lesbians, and Bisexuals. To complete Exercise 1 for my Cultural Interview I spoke with my friend,and co-worker, Julian.Colin: Julian thanks again for participating in this interview. As we talked about briefly beforethe interview, we are going to be discussing Sexual Orientation. I’d like to begin the interview bydiscussing your coming of age in the 1980’s. You graduated in the early 80’s correct?Julian: I graduated in 1980. And probably came to [the] realization of my sexuality around theage of 7. When it was kind of identified as what it really meant based on the feelings I wasfeeling as a child.C: at that age, when you were younger, did you feel like it was wrong? That your feelings werewrong?J: No. When I was younger it’s like I said, probably when I was about 7, pre-school times, youknow, when it was probably still accepting for children to hold hands and walk single file. And Iremember distinctly burned in my memories being scolded because I wanted to hold handsmore with children of the same sex as opposed to children of the opposite sex. I never had aproblem with the opposite sex, I just felt more closely bonded to children of the same sex. Andbeing scolded by your mother or a teacher that it should be more boy girl boy girl as opposed toboy boy became foreign to me. It was not until I got older, getting scolded for it more, that itbecame taboo.C: at 7 you’re not aware of your sexuality, you’re just aware you have different feelings?J: Just the attraction. It wasn’t sexual, just attraction. But attraction in itself, the essence ofattraction is still a bonding state of mind to the same sex. C: When you were younger did you have more male friends or female friends?J: No, No. I had both male and female friends, as I was saying earlier that attraction as yougrow older than you really get into the understanding of how children can really get into thename calling and such. It was then that I came to the realization what it really meant thatattraction to the same sex.C: Do you remember was it in high school that the sexual part of it came about?J: I accepted my sexuality and was quite aware of what it meant, I actually didn’t becamesexually active until I was 17, but was aware of it far before that.C: Did you ever go out with any women?Page 1 of 3Colin McBride – Cultural Interview #2 - Transcript May 10, 2010J: Oh yeah definitely had my string of my “testing” state of mind. When I felt like I needed totest the waters. And fortunately enough I was able to test those waters but they weren’tthrown at me. As opposed to somebody pressuring me or trying to “fix me” so to speak. C: So you didn’t feel pressure to date?J: No not at all. In fact if I remember correctly the closest relationships I had were with women.Whether it was with my mother, I had an overtly close relationship to my mother, more so than Ihad with my Father. But my father was more military, more the macho sense, and instilled morefear. I’ve just always enjoyed my mental relationships with women far more than men.C: Any of the girlfriends you had in school, were they aware that you were gay?J: the first person I came out to was a very good female friend of mine.C: First person ever? J: First person ever.C: Was that while you were in high school?J: No that was when I was in junior high. And she was very accepting of it and kept it very veryprivate. Ironically, it’s interesting I didn’t really come out to a lot of people when I was in highschool, but I did come out to the wrong person once, and that ended up kind of backfiring.C: Was that person a friend of yours?J: I came out to a friend of mine, a male friend, which is probably one of the reasons I didn’thave a lot of male friends in High School that knew that I was gay. I came out to the first malefriend of mine when I was in Junior High and his family was very religiously active. He kept it tohimself, but it did change the relationship between us.C: But he did keep it to himself?J: He did keep it to himself, and then a third friend within that triangle of friendship I ended uptelling later on and that was the wrong person to tell because that person basically told severalother people in my junior year of high school, and that became a problem. And ironically, yearslater, after I broke off that friendship that exact same person ended up being gay himself. Atthat point I became very introverted about telling my male friends, but by senior year I was out.C: But before your senior year though? Obviously it wasn’t your choice for everyone in theschool to know.Page 2 of 3Colin McBride – Cultural Interview #2 - Transcript May 10, 2010J: Once you’re out it changes the whole genre. To have “Fag” written on you locker is not themost pleasant thing.C: That happened?J: Oh, yeahC: Is that the worst thing that happened?J: You know I kind of grew into the acceptance that I was who I was. I went out for track, andthe yearbook staff, and I went out for football. I was popular.C: So you don’t feel the situation alienated you.J: Well people can be very cruel and so I sort of became, after the jokes and all that startedcoming along one tends to get, a little more closed in. I ended up becoming a little more closedin with my privacy after that.Page 3 of