25 Cards in this Set
Front | Back |
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First test question
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This class is : Communication (not communicationS)
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First rule of communication
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know your audience!
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Conflict
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An expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals.
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Conflict is
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1. Transactional - you are influencing the conflict
2. Shaped by perception - not a real conflict (pseudo conflict)
3. Rooted in views of goals and resources
4. Inevitable
5. Is not fundamentally negative
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First Big Fights (FBFs)
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thesis: if you haven't had a FBF then it means you are not that close to one another, turning point in relationships, can set the mood for the rest of the relationship
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conflict resolution can set...
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precedents
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Thematic conflict
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what you keep fighting about in the relationship
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Chilling effect
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when you withhold expressing conflict because you are scared of how the other person will react
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Cumulative annoyance
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avoid a little thing that annoys you, little problems build up and cause a bigger conflict
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Conditioning partner
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you get treated how you allow people to treat you
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★ Gottman's Conflict Tips ★
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1. Edit yourself- be careful about what you say
2. Soften your "start up"- start a conflict gently and without blame
3. Accept influence
4. Have high standards
5. Learn to repair and exit argument- words that are said cannot be unsaid so exit the argument before anything major is sai…
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★Gottman's "four horsemen" ★
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1. Criticism- first sign, negative complaints about people's personality or character instead of behavior
2. Defensiveness- seeing yourself as a victim and denying responsibility for your behaviors
3. Stonewalling- shutting down everything- no talking, no interaction at all (example- wh…
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Interpersonal competence
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involves understanding what is competent and then translating that knowledge into skills
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competence factors
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Appropriateness
Effectiveness
Ethics
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Expressive messages
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express my own thoughts and feelings
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Conventional messages
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most common worst way to go about things, a "do it or else" method, #1 goal is effectiveness
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Rhetorical Messages
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how you communicate creates the situation. Address situations in neutral and non-judgmental way, Openly express empathy in both perspective taking and emphatic concern, offer specific workable solutions, open door to negotiation
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Online communication competence
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1. Match message gravity to medium - some things should not be done via text, efficiency is not always best
2. Online isn't always more efficient - not just gravity, some things are more efficiently done offline
3. Know the code - All CAPS mean something, don't use something unless you …
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Nature of Intimate relationships
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1. Require deep commitment
2. Foster Interdependence
3. Require Continuous Investment ( time and effort)
4. Spark dialectical tensions
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★ Dialectical Tensions ★
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1. Autonomy vs. Connection
2. Predictability vs. Novelty
3. Openness vs. Closedness
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★ Covert Violations of Conversation Principle ★
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1. Quantity - telling the truth but leaving bits out, omission.
2. Quality - bold face lies, making things up
3. Manner
4. Relevance - changing the subject
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Motivation Impairment Theory
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The more important the lie is to the person the more chance that it will be discovered.
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Advantages of small groups
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1. provide resources
2. experience synergy - example Banas gave was when the Pistons (basketball team) playing together to beat MJ
3. expose us to diversity
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Reducing social loafing
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1. Name names - ex) ""name" can you do this", specific person for the task
2. Be specific about goals
3. Make consequences clear
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Leadership and communication
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Communication defines leadership. Matters most in a crisis
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