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HD 382: EXAM TWO
Personal Reasons for Divorce
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-High expectations for personal happiness; marry for love but demands of family life erode positive feelings for spouse
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Demands that Erode Positive Feelings
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-Paying bills
-Caring for children
-Work
-Caring for home
-Involvement in other organizations
-Gender role stereotypes
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Societal Reasons for Divorce
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Societal Reasons for Divorce
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Autonomous mate selection vs. Arranged marriage
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-Love-based marriages more likely to end in divorce
-Economic-based marriages more stable
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What are children of divorce more likely to experience?
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-Divorce
-41-53% more likely than individuals raised in a two-parent intact family
-Lack a role model for how to resolve marital conflict
-Children raised in single-parent families lack any model of a man-woman relationship
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Predictors of Divorce-Economy
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-Economic hardship places strains on the marriage- leads people to desire divorce
-As an economy recovers from a downturn, an increase in divorce rate because people can afford to divorce
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Predictors of Divorce- Socioeconomic Status
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- People of lower income more likely to divorce.
-More stress on the marriage due to less money
-Higher level of men's education, less likely to divorce
-Higher level of women's education, more likely to divorce
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Predictors of Divorce- Age at Marriage
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People who marry in their teens, particularly those that marry in their early or middle teens (under age 18), are more likely to divorce |
Predictors of Divorce- Premarital Pregnancy
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Couples who experience premarital pregnancy that results in the birth of a child either before the marriage or during the first 7 months of marriage are much more likely to divorce
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Predictors of Divorce- Religion
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-Contradictory findings
-Catholics and Muslims less likely to divorce Protestants
-Baptist and fundamental Protestants have highest number of divorced individuals. Why? Outreach programs
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Characteristics of Divorce
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-Divorce is a process, not an event
-Effects of parental divorce are felt long before and long after the physical separation of the parents |
Series of Transitions Involving Great Change
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-Family Roles
-Separation from noncustodial parent
-Family Routines
-Responsibilities
-Residence, neighborhood
-Schools
-Peers
-Mom may change employment status
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Infants Reaction to Parental Divorce
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-Quality of attachment with noncustodial parent is threatened
-Quality of attachment with custodial parent may be threatened due to increased stress on parent making parent less responsive to the child
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Preschool-Aged Childrens Reaction to Parental Divorce
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Extreme sadness and missing the absent parent
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School-Aged Childrens Reaction to Parental Divorce
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School-Aged Childrens Reaction to Parental Divorce
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School-Aged Childrens Reaction to Parental Divorce
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-Anxiety about how divorce will affect their future
-Who will pay for college?
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Among all age- groups reaction to Parental Divorce
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-Feelings of abandonment
-Feelings of betrayal
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Short-term Adjustment to Divorce
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-Takes about 2 years
-Boys have a more difficult time than girls: Mother-son conflict escalates
-Mother-daughter relationship becomes very close
-Children's initial reaction is NOT related to long-term adjustment |
Long-term Adjustment to Divorce
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-Low inter-parental conflict
-Quality of child's relationship with custodial parent
-Quality of child's relationship with noncustodial parent
-Fewer post-divorce transitions
-Having a wide range of social support: grandparents, friends, extracurricular activities, youth leader/coach, adult friend
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Sole Custody
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-One parent is sole legal guardian and other parent "visits"
-One parent assumes complete responsibility for child care
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Joint Legal custody
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-One parent has physical custody
-Both parents have legal right to be involved in decisions regarding the child (education, medical treatment, etc.)
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Joint Physical Custody
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-Both parents have legal rights regarding making decisions for the child
-Child spends an equal amount of time with each parent
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Advantages of Joint Physical and Sole Physical/Legal Custody
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-Child is still able to see both parents
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Disadvantages of Joint Physical and Sole Physical/Legal Custody
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-May get caught in the middle of the parents problems
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Divorce Mediation
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-Non-adversarial process used to negotiate the division of property, financial settlements, and parenting plans
-Find common ground
-Generate creative solutions
-Problem solve rather than fight
-Required in some states
-Not appropriate for situations regarding child abuse or domestic violence
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Remarriage is more likely if person is:
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-Divorced rather than widowed
-Male rather than female
-White rather than African American
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Divorce rates of second marriage
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Higher than divorce rates in the first marriage
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Length of first marriage and time between divorce and remarriage
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-Median length of first marriage is 7 years
-Average time between divorce and remarriage is 3 years: less for men, longer for women
-Men average about 18 months between divorce and remarriage
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Characteristics of Stepfamilies
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-Instant creation of family
-Relationship with ex-spouse and ex-inlaws have influence on the stepfamily functioning
-Role confusion
-Allegiances, loyalty conflicts and guilt
-Parent-child subsystem comes first; new spouse has to be accommodated into the family
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Strategies in Adjustment of Stepfamilies
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-Set long-range goals
-Biological parent should set limits for their own biological children
-Stepparent should support spouse in their parenting role and try to "befriend" stepchildren as if he/she were a youth leader
-Develop new rituals and traditions
-Develop ways to communicate with households of ex-spouses
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Characteristics of Successful Stepfamilies
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-Losses have been mourned
-Expectations are realistic
-Strong, unified couple
-Constructive rituals are established
-Satisfactory step-relationships have been formed
-Separate households cooperate
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"Crisis Period"
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-Period during the transition to parenthood
-Involves major role changes
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Transition to parenthood can cause:
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-Identity crisis
-What kind of parent do you want to be?
-Not only your needs anymore, focus on child before yourself
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When is your identity made?
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When you realize the things you value after you go through a crisis
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Reasons "for" Parenting:
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-Pass on family name/family line
-Generativity (need to nurture)
-Have a lot to offer or can provide
-Can provide money
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Reasons "against" Parenting:
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-Less time for self, spouse, career, education, etc.
-No strong desire to nurture
-Feel society is too dangerous
-Not enough money
-Not mature enough or mentally healthy enough to handle the stress of parenting
-Spouse or partner does not have a desire to be a parent
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Stress Accentuation Hypothesis
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-Relationship can move along well without any stress but when there is stress, it points out the weak points in a marriage
*Stress reveals a lot about personality and your relationships with others
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Parenthood Differs from Other Social Roles
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-Women more pressured than men to parent
-Not always voluntarily assumed
-Irrevocable
-Little preparation
-Developmental- changes as parents, children, and circumstances change
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Deciding to Become a Parent:
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-Are you financially stable? Can you afford a baby?
-Will you have a support system?
-How will existing family be affected by a new baby?
-Are you willing to sacrifice the majority of your free time to the raising of a child?
-Are you willing to sacrifice time you have spent in your career?
-How has your relationship changed since you found out you were pregnant? After you have the baby?
-What are your concerns/looking forward to?
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Ultimate Goal of Parenting
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-To nurture children to become productive members of society
-Many of society's problems are the result of poor parenting (drug use, violence, etc.)
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Attachment
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-An enduring emotional bond between two people
-Sense of connection
-Feeling of rightness when they are together
-Ability to sense each other's emotions and respond
-Property of a dyad, not an individual
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Attachment transcends
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-Time
-Space
-Death
-True attachment relationships will last forever
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Attachment Theory in infants
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-Humans are pre-wired at birth for social interactions
-Process of attachment begins right after birth
-Orient toward voices, especially mothers or fathers
-Orient toward the scent of mother's breast milk. Infants can tell a difference between the scent of their mother and an unfamiliar mother
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John Bowlby
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-British psychiatrist
-Developed attachment theory
-Studied children who were orphaned and hospitalized
-Imprinting (love at first sight)
-Developed from Freud's psychoanalytical theory
-A lot of problems adult women have started from relationships with their moms
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Developing Attachment
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Parents typically being the process of forming an attachment when the baby is in utero (fetal attachment) *Utero- during pregnancy
-Mom will rub and pat tummy
-Parents talk to unborn baby
-May name baby
-Begin to nest or prepare for arrival of baby *Nest-prepare room or home
-Parents try to imagine what their baby will be like: Personality
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Optimal period for the development of Parent-Infant attachment
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-Right after birth
-Attachment relationship develops through repeated interactions over time
-Most important form of contact is skin-to-skin contact: lays foundation for relationship
-Bonding occurs during optimal period
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Stages of Attachment- Birth up to 2 months of age: Indiscriminate Responsiveness
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-Indiscriminate response to others
-Newborn is predisposed to attach to any human
-Most babies respond equally to any caregiver
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Stages of Attachment: About 2 months-7 months of age:
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-Discriminating social responsiveness
-Biggest smiles for caregiver, cries to be held by caregiver, more easily soothed by caregiver
-If mom is present, babies will full till they have her attention. If mom is not present they will respond to any caregiver
-Begins to recognize who mom is
-"Falling in love" stage: babies truly fall in love with mother and father
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Stages of Attachment: About 6 months to 3 years:
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-Active proximity seeking
-Child follows caregiver
-Holds up arms to be held by caregiver
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Stages of Attachment: About 3 years and up
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-Goal-corrected Partnerships
-Begins to take parent's needs into account
-Stand longer periods without mother
-Understand concepts like: "Mommy has to go to the grocery store so she will be back later" "Mommy is on the phone so I need to wait to talk with her"
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Attachment Behavioral System
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1. Proximity promoting behaviors: cries to be held, clings, approaches, follows caregiver
2. Separation distress
3. Joy upon reunion with the caregiver
4. Social referencing: when stranger approaches, they look to see how the parent responds & takes their cues from them
5. Stranger Anxiety
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Attachment Quality
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-Not all attachments are equal. They can vary in quality
-Secure, Insecure resistant, Insecure avoidant
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Ainsworth's Strange Situation
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-Assessment of Attachment Quality
-Mary Ainsworth working with mothers and infants in Uganda
-Noticed infants behavior when mothers left
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Child behaviors to look for according to Ainsworth Strange Situation
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-Social referencing when stranger enters
-Separation distress when mother leaves
-Joy upon reunion when mother returns
-Ability to be comforted by mother
-Ability to regain focus on play with toys
*Reunion behaviors determine childs attachment quality
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Secure Attachment
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-Child actively explores toys when alone with mother
-Social references to mother when stranger enters
-When mother leaves, child shows separation distress
-Child shows joy upon reunion with mother
-If distressed, child is comforted or soothed by mother
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Insecure Resistant
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-Child social references to mother when stranger enters
-When mother leaves, child displays extreme separation distress
-When reunited with mother, child is ambivalent (both happy and upset)--happy to see her, still upset that she left in the first place
-Not easily comforted or soothed by mother
-Unable to focus on playing with toys again
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Insecure Avoidant
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-Child shows little to no distress when separated from mother
-Shows little fear or anxiety around stranger- little social referencing
-Ignores or shows less joy upon reunion with mother
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Parenting and Attachment Quality in Secure Attachment
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-Fostered by consistently responsive parenting
-High levels of interactional synchrony (mutual gazing, high levels of well-timed turn taking involving high levels of positive effect or joy)
-Interaction synchrony- baby looks at mom, mom says "well, hello!" baby smiles
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Parenting and Attachment Quality in Insecure Resistant Attachment
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-Sometimes responsive to child's needs
-Sometimes indifferent to child's needs
-Depends on the mood of the parent
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Parenting and Attachment Quality in Insecure Avoidant Attachment
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Consistently unresponsive and indifferent or neglectful parenting
-Overzealous parenting that provides extremely high levels of stimulation
-Overstimulates-constant stimulation for baby, even when it is unnecessary
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Child Factors that Influence Attachment Quality:
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-Temperament
-Sociability
-Ease with which child makes transitions
-Cuddle factor
-Adaptability to new situations
-Attention/Persistence
-Rhythm of biological functions
-Need for stimulation
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Parent Factors that Influence Attachment Quality
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-Parent's mental health
-Parent's history of having been parented
-Parent's temperament
-Parenting behaviors/style
-Mothers who are depressed
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Basic Trust and Attachment |
-High touch, high skin-to-skin contact
-Consistent, responsive caregiving
-Reciprocity, Interactional synchrony: turn taking, sensitivity to others cues
-Most important goal of parenting
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Parenting Infants: Cognitive Development
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-Environment needs to stimulate sensorimotor skills
-Direct interaction needed between caregiver and infant
-Active exploration of environment
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Parenting Toddlers: Parent Becomes Protector
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-Child's mobility requires parent to shadow child's moves: child tries walking upstairs
-Must childproof house: doors cannot be opened easily, baby gates at top and bottom of stairs, plug open electrical outlets
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To Foster Autonomy:
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-Set only necessary limits
-Allow child to express his/her self; make choices, and do things "all by myself!"
-Guide in a way that allows child to be independent
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Toilet Training
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-Do not rush
-Average age about 2-3 years old
-No relationship between age at toilet training and IQ
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Signs of readiness for Toilet Training:
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-Wants to be changed when wet
-Can go for long periods of time without wetting
-Shows an interest in sitting on the toilet
-Understands connection between feeling the urge to wet and being able to urinate on the toilet
-Set child up for success rather than failure
-Control of bowel movement before control of bladder
-Girls train earlier than boys
-Appeal to child's desire to be "grown up"
-Don't stress
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Toddler Aggression
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-To be expected!
-Hitting and biting increase in most children just before an advance in language skills
-Hitting and biting increase before children learn to share and take turns (does not really occur until children are 4-5 years)
-Anger and aggression usually result from frustration
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Initiative vs. Guilt
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-3 to 5 years old
-Initiative arises in relation to tasks for the sake of activity, both motor and intellectual; most kids desire to be physically active and are motivated to learn
-Guilt may arise over goals contemplated (especially aggressive)
-Desire to mimic adult world; child identifies with same-sex parent
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To Foster Initiative:
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-Allow for self competency= positive self concept
-Give choices to facilitate child's sense of initiative
-Answer children's questions about who, what, and why
-Provide formal and informal learning experiences
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Night Waking
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-Normal for infants
-Teething, nightmares, parents' stress, going through a growth spurt, and achieving a new developmental milestone can all contribute to night waking
-95% of infants wake every 3-4 hours during the night; during first 2 months, night wakings require parental attention
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Night Waking (cont)
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-By 8 months, majority of infants wake only every 6-7 hours
-Often able to self-soothe and fall back asleep without much attention
-Infants who receive parental attention return to sleep more quickly than those who do not
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Dr. Richard Ferber
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-Sleep training researcher
-Child should learn to soothe themselves rather than becoming dependent on their parents to help them sleep
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Sleep Training Method
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-Wait a few minutes before going in to comfort the child when he/she cries
-Go back in to reassure child. Comfort the child for a small time without picking the child up
-Wait for increasingly longer period of time to return to comfort the child (5 min, 10 min, etc.)
-Usually by the 3rd night of sleep training, the child falls asleep during one of the times the parent is out of the room
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Co-Sleeping
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-Researchers do not believe that young children learn to soothe themselves to sleep
-Believe that young children learn that the parent will not provide comfort or care, this undermines children's trust in parents
*Children stop crying for their parents because they have learned that parents are uncaring and won't respond
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Tips for Getting a Child to Sleep
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-Be consistent
-Make nap time earlier
-Do not cut a nap out completely if the child is younger than 3
-Create a bedtime routine (taking a bath, singing, reading a story)
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Either co-sleep or sleep in close proximity
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-May use a co-sleeper
-May place crib in parents' room
-May place child's bed close to parents
-Allow siblings to co-sleep with older babies (toddlers, not very young infants)
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Potential Problems with Sleep Training
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-Increases in stress hormone cortisol can lead to long-term problems in emotional regulation
-Linked to later problems with sleep patterns or behavior
-Children are not developed enough to self soothe in healthy ways until around 2 1/2 to 3 years of age
-Need to be responded to when they wake crying
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