Comm 1000 1st edition Lecture 10Outline of last lecture l. Interpersonal Communicationll. Norms and Roleslll. Interpersonal Relationships lV. AttachmentV. MarriageOutline of current lecture Vl. Dialectical Perspective Vll. Love styles Vlll. Dominance and Power IX. Proximity/ Geographic ClosenessX. Similarity attracts, not oppositesXl. Situations modify attraction Current outline Vl. Dialectical Perspective A. What is it?- Dialectical perspective are sets of opposing or contradictory impulses that create tension between two people - Assumptions:- Contradictions in inherent in social life- These conflicts drive change and vitality- There is dialectical change - Researchers study the effects of these dialectics on relational satisfaction- 3 main types- Autonomy vs Connection- Certainty vs Uncertainty - Openness vs ClosednessB. Autonomy vs. Connection- Independence vs. Interdependence - Want to be connected with others, yet want to be autonomous.- One of the most powerful dialectics - These needs are dynamic and frequently shifting.- Also tend to vary among individuals C. Certainty vs. Uncertainty - We like predictability, but we also crave excitement.- Knowing the you’ll “be there” for me but also - Craving excitement, things can get “too predictable” but too much chaos is also not comfortable.- Psychological trust- knowing how/what you think orComm 1000 1st edition - Behavioral trust- knowing how you’d act D. Openness vs. Closedness - Openness is akin to sharing - How much we share is a dialectic- Dialectic scholars argue that true self-disclosure is relatively infrequent..”small talk” just for talks sake is also relationally significant. - How does this contrast with other theories on other windows?Vll. Love StylesA. ErosB. LudusC. StorgeD. PragmaE. Mania F. Agape Vlll. Dominance and power A. Dominance - Need for control over others - In dyads, one often has more dominance than the other, but not always- Can coexist with affiliation B. Dominance in a relationship- Can be complementary-one up, one down - Symmetrical- both up or both down- Parallel-combination, varies by topic C. Power- Unlike dominance - Power is given to you by others- Cant get power unless others allow you to have it - Example: “do what I want, or I’m leaving”- dominance or power?lX. Proximity? Geographic Closeness A. One is significantly more likely to marry someone geographically closeB. Explanation for proximity effect include- If we know we will be physically close, we overlook the others less desirable traits.- Opportunities for communication are greater.- Familiarity in itself may increase likingC. A number of factors associated with liking and romantic love- Reciprocal liking- Desirability of other- Similarity - Exposure/social appropriateness- Reciprocal liking and desirability may be most important D. Proximity: Dating and Work - With respect to dating and work:Comm 1000 1st edition - (1) 35% of U.S. adults have fantasized about a co-worker- (7) 16% of U.S. men and 7% of U.S. women reported having sex in the office. X. Similarity attracts, not opposites A. There is support for assertive mating: age, ethnic background, race, religion, socioeconomic status, and education B. Psychological characteristics of mates show similarities in:- Attitudes- Opinions- Worldviews- Verbal abilities- Degree of quarrelsomeness- Ingenuousness - Extroversion D. Romantic couples tend to have similar levels of physical attractiveness and similar preferences in mates- Importance of attractiveness has increased for both males and females; it used to be more important for men- Mutual attraction and love important for both sexesE. Similarity attracts in non-romantic relationships also - We like people who are like us; we dislike people who are different - Given enough knowledge, it is possible to predict who will be become friends- We are more attracted to the other if we are alike- Perception elements lead us to overemphasize similarity and difference- Increasing numbers of interracial/interethnic couples in the U.S. may indicate similarity in race/ethnicity as, say, similar values Xl. Situations modify attraction1. Perceived reciprocity of liking is whether you think the other also likes you.- Without reciprocity, liking is lost - Reciprocity is a predictor of attraction- Reciprocity may be even more important than attitudes similarity in long-term relationships- Two explanations include: people who like you increase your sense of self-worth and liking is a compliment that is returned 2. Change in one’s level of self-esteem may affect who is liked (change or rebound to fit in with new group)3. Anxiety or one’s need to interact affects affiliation: people who share unpleasant experiences become more cohesive/desirable 4. Isolation from the rewards of others affect who is