INTERDEPENDENCE THEORY We are more likely to stay in relationships if the rewards exceed the costs Outcome: total net profits OR losses Outcome = rewards – costs However, our perceptions also play into this:Our expectationsHow attractive we perceive the alternatives to be Comparison Level (CL) Our unique expectations of the relationship Based on past experiences Including past relationships and what we have observed in other relationships This is a measure of our satisfaction Expectation met, we are satisfied Expectation not met, dissatisfied Comparison Level of Alternatives (CLalt)• Perceived alternatives available• Has an impact on commitment and sense of dependency on a relationship Helps to explain why some stay in unhappy relationships and why some leave happy relationships  Also note: people in satisfied relationships often don’t notice alternatives CL and CLAlt combine to predict the type of relationship people haveCL AND CL ALT IN RELATIONSHIPSAlternativePoor GoodRelationship Meets or Exceeds CLSatisfiedStableSatisfiedUnstableRelationship fails to meet CL DissatisfiedStableDissatisfiedUnstableCL OVERTIME CL fluctuates over time We habituate and often expect more Expect magic instead of “good enough” “Bad is stronger than good”• Magic Ratio Satisfied: 5 positives to 1 negative Dissatisfied: 0.8 positives: 1 negativeSELF-EXPANSION MODEL We want to broaden and grow as individuals We often are attracted to relationships where we are exposed to new interests and experiences and growth is likely Satisfaction in a relationship is enhanced by this growth When/if the growth stops, we tend to experience dissatisfactionRELATIONAL TURBULENCE Phenomenon whereby satisfaction levels typically level off for a period of time after an initial surge in satisfactionBelieved to be associated with adjustment to increased interdependencePartners must decide: are sacrifices associated with continuing the relationship worth it? What about rewards?After the lull, typically satisfaction increasesSATISFACTION OVER THE LONG HAUL Satisfaction tends to DECREASE during the first years of marriage Sharp declines occur, on average, when the first baby arrivesCouples spend less time together having funThose with highest (most unrealistic) expectations appear to be at highest risk for divorce/break upWHY DOES SATISFACTION DECREASE OVER TIME? Lack of effort Interdependency is a magnifying glass We have more opportunity for conflict and friction Little things can become bigger (magnified) Access to weaponry Unwelcome surprises Learn the truth about what we already knew Things can change, new things can emergeEXCHANGE VS. COMMUNAL RELATIONSHIPS Unrealistic expectations Exchange: expect to get what we give Typical of a business relationship Communal: Close relationships are guided by different norms such as: Others’ needs Our desire to please people close to us We don’t usually monitor input/output Most intimate relationships are more communal than exchange However, exchanges DO seem to take place in communal relationships Exchanges are often over a longer period of time and rewards are more diverse We typically don’t keep track of “tit for tat” UNLESS the relationship deterioratesEQUITY THEORY: THE ROLE OF FAIRNESS We are more satisfied in a relationship if we feel that our gains are proportional to our contributions Ratio of contributions vs. benefits Benefits, contributions don’t have to be equal Can put in more contributions, get more benefit and still be satisfied The key: Ratio must be similar for partners to feel things are fairEQUITY THEORY Perceptions don’t always mirror reality Under-benefiters vs. Over-benefiters Not always distressed However, equity appears to be important in childcare and house hold tasks Equity appears to be more important when you are dissatisfied in a relationship You tend to perceive yourself as under benefitting Research suggests: Overall outcome levels appear more important than inequity 3 ways to correct inequity 1. Restore actual equity through behavior change Talk to partner and negotiate changes 2. Restore psychological equity Cognitive restructuring 3. Terminate the relationshipINVESTMENT MODEL Extension of interdependence theory Commitment to remain in a relationship influenced by: CL CLAlt Investments While satisfaction and comparison levels are important, the amount we have invested into a relationship also helps to determine if we will stayTHREE TYPES OF COMMITMENT (JOHNSON Personal: We remain committed because we want to, the relationship is rewarding Constraint: We remain in the relationship because it would be too costly if we left Moral: We remain because we feel an obligation What predicted whether a long distance relationship would survive?TAKE HOME MESSAGES  MORAL Commitment Early on in a relationship: Use reflection, consider your intuition Recall: more accurate first impressions if we reflect and analyze Apply that to your relationship More costs than rewards? Consider if the relationship should be terminated Costs are likely to get worse/increase If you have a rewarding relationship, don’t be surprised by a lull in satisfaction