Together We Can: Creating a Healthy Future for our Family 111Listening To Face, Voice, And BodyModule 3 | Part 4objectives: 1. Learn to understand and listen to non-verbal messages 2. Describe the process of defensive listening 3. Build communication skillsHandouts: 1. Non-Verbal Communications: Listening to Face, Voice, and Body 2. Listening to Non-Verbal Communication 3. Watch Your Start Up 4. Take Home Message for This SessioniteMs needed for tHis educational session:• Handoutmaterialsforparticipantworkbooks• Scrapbookingmaterials• Flipchartandmarkers• PencilsandpensChildren, Youth, Families & Communities • Michigan State University Extension • ©2009 Michigan State University Board of Trusteeswww.togetherwecan.fcs.msue.msu.eduListening To Face, Voice, And BodyModule 3Part 4• Isthereanythingyoumightdodifferentlytocommunicatewithothersthatwouldimprovethecommunication?Onewaytoimprovecommunicationistoimprovelisteningskills.Somepeoplearesurprisedtorealizethatgoodcommunicationisnotonlymeasuredbyhowyouspeakbutbyhowyoulisten.Aswediscussed,onewaytolistenbetterisbyusingyournon-verbalmessages.Anotherwaytolistenbetteristogetridofdefensivelistening.Anotheraspectoflisteningistoreceivecomplaintswithoutbecomingdefensive.Don’treceivecomplaintsasacriticism.Itdoesnotmean“givingin”—itmeansyielding.Defensivelisteningmayoccuramongthoseseekinganintimaterelationship.Sometimeswelistendefensivelytothosewhoweareclosesttoorourchild’sco-parent.Overtime,defensivelisteningmaycauserelationshipstobecomemorefrustrating.Oftenoneofthepartnersbecomestoofrustratedtotrytosolvethetensionduetothedefensivelistening.Theserelationshipsareunabletoreachtheirpotentialtobesatisfyingforbothpeople.Theserelationshipsusuallyrequireextensiveeffortstorepairemotionsandbuildorrestoretrust.It’simportanttounderstandbothaggressivebehavioranddefensivelistening.Weneedtounderstandandempathizewiththefeelingsofeachother.Intensenegativityintheotherpersonisusuallyasignofhowstrongthefeelingsarebehindthewords.Thismaybeourfirstinsightintowhatishappeningwiththeotherperson,themeaningbehindthewords.Itdoesnotmeanthatwehavetoagreewiththeperson—justunderstand.Simplysaying“uh-huh,”or“I’mlistening”isnotenough.Wemustbeabletoidentifyandunderstandtheotherperson’sfeelings.Thisis“empathy.”GettinG startedIf homework was assigned from a previous lesson, please review it with participants.Pleasere-introduceyourselfandtellusyourfavoritesongtosingwithyourchild(oneofthebestwaystocommunicate!)activit y: Mini-lecture on listening and defensive listeningPrepareaPowerPointpresentationorflipchart containing the following information for the Non-Verbal Communications: Listening to Face, Voice & Body handout. Remind participants of the information learned in the sessions on positive strokes, discounting, and active listening.Inthislesson,wearegoingtolookatwaystobuildonthecommunicationskillswelearnedinthelastlesson.Incommunicatingwithothers,itcanhelptobeawareofnon-verbalmessagesthatothersaresendingwhenyouareinteractingwiththemandtoeffectivelycounteractdefensiveness.First,let’slookmoredeeplyatlistening:• Howwouldyoudescribesomeone’sfacewhenheorsheislisteningtoyou?• Arethesepositiveornegativesigns?• Howdothesesignsmakeyoufeel?NotListening:• Howdoesafacelookwhensomeoneisnotlisteningtoyou?• Howdoesthatmakeyoufeel?• Howdoyouthinkyourfacelookswhenyouarenotlistening?• Dothesignalsyousendchangehowsomeonecommunicateswithyou?112 Together We Can: Creating a Healthy Future for our FamilyChildren, Youth, Families & Communities • Michigan State University Extension • ©2009 Michigan State University Board of Trusteeswww.togetherwecan.fcs.msue.msu.eduTogether We Can: Creating a Healthy Future for our Family 113Listening To Face, Voice, And BodyModule 3Part 4didtoupsetthem.Thefacilitatorpointsoutnon-verbalcuesthepersonwhoisupsetisgiving.4. Beware of your Body Language—Theparticipantexpressesanger.Thefacilitatorpointsoutsomethingsthepersondidwithhis/hervoiceorbodywhenupset.Ask participants what they noticed the facilitators doing to show each of the four strategies.Asimplerecommendationrelatedtothisinformationistostayengaged.Emotionaldistancingisabigredflag.Noticeitinyourselfand/orinyourpartner.activit y: Watch your start-upTake the group through the handout, Watch your Start-Up. Allow for time to discuss and process the information.Now,let’sdiscusshowtoengageeffectivelywhenyouhaveacomplaint.Start with “I” instead of “You”andDescribe the behavior, don’t assign a characteristic.“I”statementshavelessofachanceofputtingtheotherpersononthedefensive.It’sdifficulttomakeastatementthatstartswith“you”notcomeacrossasaccusingandblaming.Seehowthesearedifferent:•
or
We will never post anything without your permission.
Don't have an account? Sign up