E. Lack of societal supportMarch 30, 2004 PARENTING Read: Collins: Shifting the center: Race, class, and feminist theorizing about motherhood Cowan and Cowan, Becoming a parent Mannis: Single mothers by choice Mason, Fine, Carnochan: Family law in the New Millennium: For whose families? I. Brief review of attitudes toward parenting in America A. Cycles and shifts with regard to which parent should play the primary role 1. And in attitudes about causes of pathology (who’s to blame) B. Colonial period 1. Father was the “moral overseer” 2. Mothers did most of the childcare, but fathers were seen as more important for child’s character, etc. a. A child who is a failure indicates failed parenting on the father’s part, not the mother’s b. Discuss: current attitudes about this? 3. Children were seen to come into the world sinful and woeful condition 4. Mothers were seen as too indulgent to provide proper parenting 5. Women in general seen as too irrational, too “passionate” a. The root of testimony and testify is “testes” C. 19th century: Mothers prevailed2 1. Because of “purity” and moral superiority: a total reversal of colonial ideology 2. For the first time in case of divorce custody came to seen as properly awarded to mother (Mason et al.) a. “In the best interests of the child” b. Earlier, father had rights to children, which were seen in terms of economic assets—children’s value as laborers D. 20th century 1. During first half: fathers came to be seen as increasingly distant from children a. Breadwinner role seen as the main role b. Strong split between public and private, “instrumental” vs. “emotional” parenting 2. But accompanied by significant ambivalence about the effects of increased authority of the mother on the child a. Notions about “suffocating” (overprotective, over-involved) mothers b. Popularity of Philip Wylie’s book Generation of Vipers revealed anxiety about this issue c. Can find lots of evidence of women’s ambivalence towards full-time mothering, as well c. The anti-mothering literature depicted a mother who: 1) Avenges her own frustrations on a small helpless child3 2) Tyranny a) Smothering affection d. Specter of homosexuality—notion that the overprotective mother produces it in boys e. No one seemed to care much about girls 1) Daughters were simply absent from the literature except as juvenile delinquents f. No literature whatsoever on mother-daughter relationship g. For the 1st time since the colonial period, discussion returned concerning fathers being necessary as parents, not just as breadwinners 3. The role of “experts” and their advice a. Colonial period: advice came from moral authorities, religious b. 19th century: advice in secular form began to appear: in magazines, etc. (religious sources of advice continued) 4. The field of clinical psychology began in 19th century E. Complex and interrelated underlying causes of such shifts 1. For example: demographic: extremely important a. An article I used to use in this course was a historical investigation of mothers’ attitudes toward infants in eras of high infant mortality 1) Author looked at diaries, letters 2) Much less emotional investment in the infant, and4 less emotion at the loss 3) Reactions of students was to blame the mother 4) But maternal feelings are affected by the degree of confidence a mother can have that an infant will survive 5) A low probability of survival throughout society will influence what all parents feel 6) We can’t see them only in terms of individuals who are lacking in feeling, using our present-day values 2. Example: the Industrial Revolution a. We have discussed many of the changes 3. Example: World War II a. Big increase in women working outside the home 1) Greatly increased participation in labor market of women with young children b. Divorce rate at an all-time high; happens with wars 4. Example: new reproductive technologies that challenge our most basic beliefs and values a. Surrogacy, etc. 1) “That woman’s carrying my baby. Isn’t she supposed to be my wife?”1 1 Quote from Helena Ragoné, 1997: “Chasing the Blood Tie: Surrogate Mothers, Adoptive Mothers, and Fathers.” In Louise Lamphere, Helena Ragoné and Patricia Zavella, eds., Situated Lives. New York: Taylor & Francis, Inc./Routledge, Inc.5 II. Beginning of 21st century: why is being a mother or a father so difficult in America? A. Shifting roles, resulting confusion 1. Problems with the traditional arrangements? a. Difficult for many families to live on one paycheck b. Cowan and Cowan article 2. New arrangements in childcare, new values a. Pioneer couples trying for “egalitarian” marriages, including childcare duties b. Couple faces disapproval, doubts, incomprehension of parents, boss, friends, etc. c. What do you do if you and your spouse disagree about childrearing philosophy and you’ve agreed that each parent is 50% responsible? d. The new father: participation in parenting is his right (seen to be a fulfilling role) as well as duty 1) Earlier: father had rights in his children (seen as economic assets), but notion of a “right” to become a father or not is a new concern 2) Earlier: becoming a father accompanied marriage, or a sign of irresponsibility if the mother is unwed 3. Shifting conceptions of what it means to be a man, a woman make an impact as well a. Men, masculinity b. Mid-century (and continuing) discussions about the6 negative effects of an “absent father” (seen to result in juvenile delinquents, homosexuals) 1) This theory derives from anxieties about the male role in general 2) For example, anxiety about men’s jobs no longer being “masculine” c. These anxieties displaced onto developmental psychology: boys seen to have a great deal of trouble achieving manhood, male identity d. Boys seen to need a “present” father in order to be able to develop into a normal adult male e. A heightened concern with maintaining distinctions between father and mother role because previous distinctions were breaking down f. First half of 20th century: father