PSYCH 250 1st Edition Lecture 17Outline of Last Lecture This is the first lecture of the exam 4 period.Outline of Current Lecture I. Intimacy vs. IsolationII. FriendshipIII. Selecting a MateA. Sternberg’s Theory of LoveIV. Attachment and Romantic RelationshipsV. What Makes Relationships WorkVI. Leaving HomeCurrent LectureIntimacy vs. IsolationThe next stage in Erikson’s eight stage hierarchy is Intimacy vs. Isolation. A successful resolution of this conflict will be intimacy. Intimacy means that one has made a permanent commitment toa romantic partner. Often time intimacy change’s and redefines ones identity, and individuals learn how to balance their independence with intimacy with a partner. However, before intimacy can be attained, a secure identity must be established.Emotions run rather high during the stage of emerging adulthood, and most adults report that their happiest memories occurred during their mid – 20s. This is called the Happiness Bump. Emerging adulthood is a great time of possibilities: freedom to explore, travel, work, make lasting friendships, and fall in love. If a person will ever “make their mark” on the world, it will most likely happen between the ages of 18 and 25.FriendshipFriends are often a source of happiness and help buffer stress and storm. In this stage of emerging adulthood, there are four gateways of criteria for choosing friends:- Physical Attractiveness – even in same – sex friendships- Apparent Availability – how willing and open the opposite person is to having a friendship- Frequent Exposure – distance matters- Absence of Exclusion Criteria – this refers to an individual having no traits that theother party would find unacceptable.Selecting a MateWhen selecting partners, we tend to choose others who are similar to us. These similarities often include: - Proximal Distance- Age and SES- Ethnicity and Religion- Attractiveness, Attitude, Education- HeightMen and women each look for different qualities when it comes to choosing a mate. Women often look for someone with intelligence, ambitions, and morals. Men tend to seek out women who are attractive, and have good domestic skills.Sternberg developed a Triangular Theory of Love that states that there are three components oflove that tend to shift in emphasis as the relationship progresses. These three components are:Intimacy Emotional ComponentPassion Sexual and Romantic ComponentCommitment Thinking and (Loyalty) ComponentAttachment and Romantic RelationshipsThe choice of a romantic partner and the quality of that relationship is largely affected by memories of parent – child relationships. The adults’ memory of attachment to their parents at an early age can predict the type of internal working models and relationship experiences.EarlyAttachmentInternal Working Model Adult Relationship ExperienceSecure- Comfortable with intimacy- Not afraid of being abandoned- Trust- Happiness- FriendshipAvoidant- Independent- Worrisome over who they allow to them- Jealous- Little physical pleasure- Emotionally distantResistant- Seek out fast love- Completely emerge themselves with one person- Jealous- Desperate- Emotional highs and lowsCohabitation is a term that is used to refer to the lifestyle in which couples that are in a committed relationship live together without being married. Since the 1960s, cohabitation has increased and it is estimated that nearly 50% of all U.S. couples cohabitate. Although cohabitation is now the preferred entry into commitment with an intimate partner, it has been associated with a much high likelihood of divorce (U.S. and Canada).What Makes Relationships WorkIn an intimate relationship, opposites do not attract. A couple must be compatible and they must also be able to successfully handle conflict.Compatibility: “Bird of a feather flock together” when it comes to interests, attitudes, and education, is important when it comes to commitment within a relationship.Conflict: being emotionally sensitive to your partner and engaging in effective communication is key to solving a problem in which couples disagree. Conflict does not always predict divorce, however, the demand/withdraw form of resolving conflict does not leave couples in a good area for avoiding divorce (one partner wants to talk, and the other completely shuts down).Leaving HomeThe average age in which emerging adults leave home has decreased in recent years. Nearly 50% of 18-25 year – olds still live at home. This is because more young adults are enrolled in higher education, and choose to live independently before marrying. However, nearly 50% of emerging adults will return after their initial leave, and the initial leave often varies by SES and