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The Kingdom with No Rules, No Laws, and No King

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The Kingdom with No Rules No Laws and No King by Norman Stiles Once upon a time a young boy named Benjamin lived in a kingdom that had no rules and no laws of any kind It also had no king but let s not get into that now It did have majestic mountain ranges roaring rivers really cool castles cutesy cottages beautiful birds and adorable furry animals great weather miles of beaches perfect waves all kinds of excellent trees great for climbing and a more than adequate number of benches for people to sit on One day Benjamin was sitting on one of these benches with his father mother and big sister He was wearing a cowboy hat and they were all eating chocolate ice cream cones All of a sudden a guy walked up to Benjamin did a sort of silly dance took Benjamin s cone right out from under his tongue and ran off licking it Hey That guy took my chocolate ice cream cone Ben yelled I noticed said his father licking his own ice cream He made a nice move on you Guess he was in the mood for some chocolate ice cream dear said his mother sweetly You have to learn not to pay attention to silly dances when you re eating ice cream his big sister said Remember this was a kingdom without rules or laws of any kind So there were no rules or laws about taking ice cream cones that didn t belong to you Benjamin still wanted more ice cream So he reached over and took his sister s cone She immediately and matter of factly snatched her mother s cone Benjamin s father quickly gulped his ice cream down in one bite just as Ben mother was about to grab it Ha ha he said with a big chocolate moustache dripping from his upper lip Benjamin s mother sat thinking for a moment as Ben and his sister licked their ice cream very fast keeping one eye on their mother Then Benjamin s mother started to whistle and appeared to be about to scratch an itch on her head Instead she reached around her daughter knocked Benjamin s ice cream cone out of his hand up in the air and caught it in her mouth Benjamin sighed a very deep sigh and said to himself There s got to be a better way His sister and his mother finished their ice cream cones Then everyone put on their crash helmets got in the care and with Benjamin s mother at the wheel the family headed home Ben wore his cowboy hat on top of his helmet There were no traffic laws of any kind So as their car approached the kingdom s main intersection Benjamin s mother had a decision to make If the light was red she could stop if she felt like it or she didn t have to if she didn t fell like it If it was green she could stop or she could go if she felt like it The light was green and Benjamin s mother decided that she felt like going through it Unfortunately the person in the truck in front of her felt like stopping for the green light Just before the car smashed into the rear of the truck Benjamin thought to himself There s got to be a better way The next thing he knew he was hanging by one leg upside down from a branch near the top of a very very tall tree And this was not one of the trees in the kingdom that was great for climbing They re gonna need ladders and stuff to get me down he thought to himself He was going to be up there for a while so he decided that the best thing to do was to relax He looked around and saw that his parents and his big sister were each hanging by one leg upside down in trees as were lots of other people all around the intersection Everyone looked relaxed and nobody was particularly peeved That was because they were used to it Most of the many automobile accidents in the kingdom with no rules and no laws resulted in people hanging by one leg upside down in trees As Benjamin swayed in the breeze he could see a baseball field in the distance A game was in progress a game with no rules of course The players were doing whatever they felt like doing Some were swinging bats Some were throwing balls Some were catching balls Some were running back and forth on the bases bumping into each other Some were helping the injured off the field There was no score for some and for others it was 12 to 6 or 165 to 125 and so on For some a hit was a hit for others a hit was an out and for a few there was not such thing as a hit or an out Some just sort of sat there in the middle of the base paths digging in the dirt with pails and shovels THERE S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY Benjamin was screaming over and over as they carried him down from the tree It s okay Benjamin dear You re down now his mother said We re all okay now We re out of our trees See We re out of our trees Benjamin looked around and saw that everyone was indeed out of their trees And it was at that very moment that he resolved to himself he would figure out a better way I m going to my room and I m not coming out until I m finished Benjamin said Finished with what his sister asked I don t know yet he said slamming the door behind him News spread all over the kingdom that a boy named Benjamin had gone to his room and wouldn t come out until he was finished The entire kingdom gathered around Benjamin s house waiting for him to come out of his room with whatever it was that he was finishing Then after two and a half hours Benjamin emerged Finished he said Three laws and a bunch of rules he said proudly Huh said the kingdom not having the faintest idea what he was talking about This is the bunch of rules Benjamin explained holding up a booklet From now on we ll play baseball by the rules in this book like nine people on each side nine innings four balls three strikes no pails and shovels stuff like that If you don t play by these rules you can t play Interesting some of the people in the kingdom said Sounds pretty good others said No pails and shovels Phooey said Benjamin s mother and father and some others Get to the three laws his sister demanded impatiently Yeah said the kingdom Okay Benjamin said and he took out a very impressive piece of notebook paper and began to read Everyone will stop on red and go on green That s the first law Nobody can …


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