Research Paper Assignment 2 by Victoria Newbury WORD COUNT CHARACTER COUNT 2160 12919 TIME SUBMITTED PAPER ID 03 OCT 2013 01 14AM 358192074 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 GRADEMARK REPORT GENERAL COMMENTS FINAL GRADE 82 100 FORMAT APA you only used 1 in text citation throughout your outline Kalman VISUAL no title or caption OUTLINE no in text cites next to facts other than Kalman CONCLUSION you simply state coco water has the same effects due to its hydration capabilities you need to expand PAGE 1 1 It looks like you have a lot of good background information but it seems like you are really lacking substance in your results conclusion Since you only cited one article throughout your outline Kalman et al it appears that you are basing your entire paper off of that one study This might not be true but that s all I can see If you want to keep your topic coco water vs CHO elec h2o on performance of intense physical activity in the heat you need multiple sources specifically related to it Your background info is pretty well established though you need to be careful to cite ONLY ORIGINAL RESEARCH but you need to delve deeper into studies showing the comparison of these drinks 2 you need to tie these first two sentences together 3 Its 4 This contribution doesn t really match the question posed in your title If your questions is how coco water affects performance compared to other beverages you need to address that Also you haven t included heat or type of physical activity intense physical performance could be a 100m sprint or a full marathon 5 these are in carbohydrate electrolyte beverages as well so that means that other nutrients must set coconut water apart from other hydration drinks but what are these other nutrients 6 source 7 whose source PAGE 2 8 Are the above all from this article If so you can t cite Kalman unless this is something they specifically found in their study Your first point coco water provides likely comes from Kalman s research but the rest come from sources cited BY Kalman You need to cite the ORIGINAL source 9 source 10 source PAGE 3 PAGE 4 11 sources PAGE 5 PAGE 6 12 copy pasted you need to come up with your own limitations future direction PAGE 7 PAGE 8 PAGE 9 PAGE 10 13 Kalman listed these 14 need in text citation 15 It s fine if you want to include some of these in your paper However they don t count as your visual which should summarize your contribution PAGE 11 PAGE 12 PAGE 13 16 these needed to be in your outline next to facts PAGE 14 PAGE 15 17 title caption RUBRIC RESEARCH PAPER 2 S 13 8 15 10 FORMAT APA 10 7 50 10 EXCEPTIONAL 10 SCALE 2 9 50 SCALE 3 9 SCALE 4 8 50 SATISFACTORY 8 SCALE 6 7 50 SCALE 7 7 SCALE 8 6 SCALE 9 5 UNSATISFACTORY 4 OUTLINE 40 EXCEPTIONAL 10 SCALE 2 9 50 SCALE 3 9 SCALE 4 8 50 SATISFACTORY 8 SCALE 6 7 50 SCALE 7 7 SCALE 8 6 SCALE 9 5 UNSATISFACTORY 4 9 10 VISUAL 20 7 10 EXCEPTIONAL 10 SCALE 2 9 50 SCALE 3 9 SCALE 4 8 50 SATISFACTORY 8 SCALE 6 7 50 SCALE 7 7 SCALE 8 6 SCALE 9 5 UNSATISFACTORY 4 CONTRIBUTION 30 EXCEPTIONAL 10 SCALE 2 9 50 SCALE 3 9 SCALE 4 8 50 SATISFACTORY 8 SCALE 6 7 50 SCALE 7 7 SCALE 8 6 SCALE 9 5 UNSATISFACTORY 4 8 10