Discussion 357 21 Jan Discussion 357 21 Jan wma Audio recording started 11 13 AM Tuesday January 21 2014 Tuesday January 21 2014 11 12 AM Family Functions 1 Cohesion optimal is somewhere in the middle a Bounded extremely close autonomous how independent i High Enmeshed extreme ii iii Parents moving into college town of the kid As the kid becomes an adult they are handicapped in independence insecure etc b Low disengaged families i Families that don t have much of a bonding 1 Massive amounts of autonomy 2 Wealthy families where kids are shipped off to nanny and caretakers even boarding school 3 A divorce couple a In which one parnt disappears takes all that side of family with them 4 Results Unloved unwanted a May find love in all the wrong places 2 Adaptability a The ability to be able to change over time i Can you be flexible ii Your family helps create this iii It can be chaotic 1 Moving around a lot i e military families a However this could add structure i Rules and family unity that makes the relationship more rigid 2 Foster families a Kids are contantly exposed to new parents kids 3 Parents who are dating a Can cause a lot of uncle johnnys 4 Results of chaotic families in regards to kids a Discipline i Inconsistency ii Kids can lack respect b Structure i Kids can go bonkers BUT kids can also become hyper structured ii They make take on a parent role and fend for theirself c Clingy unclingy i Kids may attach with whatever figure they can or be protective and refuse and resist to cling on emotionally to people 5 Rigid families a A typical small town family maybe ultra conservative b Routine and traditional and not very thrilled of things that break it c Ultra strict can cause to rebel when they start becoming adults and wanting to break out etc 3 Establishing a congruence of images in relationship to family a My family is a warzone i A lot of conflict b My family is breezy like a Sunday morning i Feel good happy peaceful c All in all it creates a metaphor of what your family life is i Different family members can have different images of family life 1 One warzone other brady bunch ii Images can change overtime 1 This can be led to events divorce etc 2 When you go to college and all of a sudden your parents who you thought loved each other unleash their true despise against one another leading to separation 4 Making Modes of Interaction into family themes a What are the actions that characterize you and our families and how that looks like to the outside world i Family mottos rules roles gender finances etc 1 What the family identifies itself as a Value education business owners doctors etc b Fiscally conservative c Think of De Niro in The Fockers and his circle of trust d Manners etc 5 Establishing Boundaries a Define a family or system by separating from other elements in the system i You can have Internal or External ii Internal 1 The one that separates a family from the outside world a Boundary with parents and kids this is kid stuff this is parent stuff b Sibling boundaries brothers and sisters iii External 1 Family secrets a The ones you tell the ones you don t b Flexible are open books about secrets 2 Amish family stereotype a Don t venture to the outside world much 2 Holidays a Rules and expectations do they say only family or invite others 2 What you talk about a Sex etc 6 Deal with biological issues Bio Social a Gender roles i What a guy should do and a girl b Age i Dating etc b Power and roles i Who has it and how is it displayed ii Dad has his chair