Communication Relationships Final Exam May 12 Chapter 9 Developing and Ending Relationships Theories Social Penetration Theory is a description of relationship escalation that focuses on how reciprocal information sharing allows partners to probe each other s self concepts information seeking is the process of gathering information about an interaction partner Uncertainty Reduction Theory Exploring the possibility of relationship development through Interactive information seeking Active information seeking Passive information seeking Interdependence and Relational Turbulence Interdependence is a state that exists when relationship partners rely on each other to accomplish their goals Relational Turbulence How establishing interdependence can create interference or barriers to one s personal goal Social Exchange importance of equity in maintaining relationships Social Penetration process in the contexts of social media Mark Knapp s model on relationship formation and dissolution think about changed in your behaviors information you share throughout the relationship development and dissolution Initiating reduce uncertainty and try to promote positive outcomes stylized formal communication Experimenting small talk and start talking about common interest flirting Intensifying people indicate to each other about desire for intimacy asking for a date increased informality in communication creation of private codes o Affinity seeking strategies that indicate own feelings and also test the other person s feelings o Direct requests for more serious relationship o Display of affection sexual intimacy Integrating couples begin to organize lives around each other interdependence becomes publicly visible many purchase common property o Relational symbols Behavioral action symbols events physical objects symbolic places Bonding formalization of commitment publicize the relationship Strategies of Relationship Dissolution Differentiating asserting a separate identity e g maintaining one s maiden name and valuing one s own social identity o Relationships may go through cycles of differentiating and integrating Circumscribing restricting communication due to uncertainty in relationship Conversation limited to safe topics Stagnating Both members have developed an expectation of unpleasant and unproductive talk relationship may be maintained based on extrinsic rewards Avoiding Restrict any forms of communication Terminating formally terminating through talk or indicating impending termination o Grave dressing Using communication to finalize the dissolution of a relationship Relational uncertainty refers to the lack of knowledge people have about their relationships Relationship Uncertainty Self Uncertainty Partner Uncertainty Chapter 10 What is relationship A constellation of behaviors o The way two people behave toward each other o Interdependence A cognitive construct A mini culture o Creating their own small culture A collection of contradictory forces o Dialectical approach o The way we think about our behaviors within a relationship o Comparison between one s actual relationship characteristics with relational prototypes Characteristics of relationship relationship prototype components Language label words e g coworkers best friend acquaintance Attributes characteristics e g trust comfort respect openness security ease in communication Communicative indicators the behaviors that display an attribute e g keeping secrets defending one s partner Trust Components of intimacy as a unique bond created by two people through some combination of highly interdependent actions individualized rules and personal disclosures viewed by both parties as relatively affectionate intrinsically rewarding and irreplaceable Closeness interdependence Openness personal disclosure Affection Mutuality rewarding irreplaceable Different styles of love that can be created through intimacy passion and commitment Relational Dialectics Theory Perspective that emphasizes the trade offs and conflicting desires that create tensions within close relationships Balancing these tensions is closely associated with relationship satisfaction Largely divided into internal e g one partner vs the other partner and external dialects e g both partners vs others Four Dialectics Tensions How do we balance self identity with relational identity in friendships or romance Expressive Protective Dialectic o Internal dialectic Self disclosure without opening too much vs keeping something in private o External dialectic Reveal relationship to others vs conceal your relationship from others o How to jointly participate in shared activities without being taken for granted vs having no Autonomy Togetherness Dialectic time for individual activities Novelty Predictability Dialectic o Becoming predictable but remaining interesting at the same time o Having a special and unique relationship but avoiding weird and unusual relationship Traditional Nontraditional Gender Roles o Cultural norms own schema impinge on relationships o Especially relevant for same sex couples Eight strategies to cope with dialectical tensions Denial Ignoring one pole of the dialectic o e g Thinking that being a couple means that one should always be together the need to be separate or autonomous is regarded as a problem o Can be applicable for all the dialectic tensions we have discussed Disorientation Withdrawal from the relationships to avoid the stress created by the dialectical tension o Caused by a feeling of not knowing what to do o When forced to choose the choice is arbitrary circumstantial o e g giving up having a conversation with another person if this person is not likely to accommodate my needs Spiral Alterations Cycling through the two poles of the tension o Also known as cyclic alternation o e g couples cycle through periods of togetherness followed by another period of autonomy or cycles of highly predictable then novel activities Segmentation Relating with context one end of the tension is addressed in one context and the other in another context o This strategy is often used for managing the protectiveness openness dialectic o e g The couple chooses to avoid sharing certain information e g having a baby together or not while being in open for other information e g moving in together Balance Compromising or diluting both ends of the tension o Also known as moderation o e g indulging in small talk that is open but superficial one is neither fully disclosing nor