COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIPS Final Exam Study Guide Professor Nogueira Chapter 9 Developing and Ending Relationships Relational Uncertainty escalating relationships resolving doubts o Refers to the lack of knowledge people have about their relationships and it stems from 3 kinds of doubts Self uncertainty Partner uncertainty Relationship uncertainty o Can be resolved through secret tests and or relationship talk Relational uncertainty can cause people to be more indirect about their communication Secret tests covert activities designed to reveal info about a partners involvement in a relationship Ask 3rd person don t respond to call email to see what partner does Relationship talk communicating with partner about relationship better Relational Turbulence Model escalating relationships coordinating behavior o def highlights how establishing interdependence can be a source of difficulty within developing relationships Interdependence a state that exists when relationship partners rely on each other to accomplish their goals o In this model people move beyond the initial stages of relationship and allow partners to influence day to day experiences o Model suggests that it is unavoidable that partners create interference or barriers to your goals Morning person vs night person o Talking to partner helps figure out how to meet these goals and remain interdependent Self disclosure coping with uncertainty o an essential tool for sharing information and reducing uncertainty o likely superficial in initial interactions o norm of reciprocity the tendency to match our own disclosures to those made by our partner topic length qualities i e humor language politeness Uncertainty Reduction Theory Berger o Uncertainty reduction the process of gathering info about an interaction partner Predicted Outcome Value Theory coping with uncertainty Sunnafrank o Predicted outcome value POV the rewards a person expects to get from a future relationship with a new acquaintance o Desire to reduce uncertainty is affected by the predicted outcome value o High POV more talking more questions encourage disclosures Social Penetration Theory escalating relationships creating a connection 1 o A description of relationship escalation that focuses on how communication allows partners to probe search each other s self concepts Rule of Distributive Justice escalating relationships striving for equity o Dictates that each partner s rewards should be proportional to his or her costs o Social exchange the voluntary transfer of personal resources from one partner to another is guided by this rule We become equal when we have a balanced social exchange when it is proportional we have equity which leads to increased intimacy and satisfaction Rules for FWBRs Friends with benefits o def An association in which friends engage in sexual activity but do not define their relationship as romantic o Rules of FWBR Emotional do not fall in love do not become hurt or jealous Communication be honest appropriate conversation topics limit frequency of contact Sex agreed upon sexual behaviors safe sex precautions Friendship higher importance on friendship than sexual relationships Permanence relationship is temporary Secrecy others in social network might not by privy to sexual aspect of friendship Escalating Relationships overview o Relationship development Initiating reduce uncertainty and promote positive outcomes by exchanging public info and following broadly held social norms Experimenting discover common ground shared with the partner by engaging in small talk and sharing personal though not private info Intensifying establish mutual awareness of the relationship and begin to lay out the ground rules Integrating establish an identity as a social unit by highlighting the qualities that make the relationship unique Bonding formally establish the relationship through public ritual o Creating a connection Social Penetration Theory o Resolving doubts Relational uncertainty o Coordinating behavior Relational turbulence Model o Striving for Equity Rule of Distributive Justice Social Exchange Chapter 10 Intimacy and Interpersonal Communication Intimacy o def a connection between 2 people that includes psychological emotional behavioral bonds 2 o Components Closeness a feeling of union between two people that emerges when people spend time together and influence on another s actions and beliefs We can see closeness in the communication between people physical closeness or we us our language Openness our willingness to reveal private info about ourselves to a relationship partner through self disclosure Trust the feeling that a relationship partner will keep us safe and protect us Share info from harm Share info Affection the positive feelings that we have for another person that we communicate through our actions with that person Non verbally affection behavior Verbally pet names softer tone high pitch Mutuality when both partners in a relationship acknowledge and value the bond that exists between them Styles of Loving o Consummate Love Intimacy passion commitment o Liking Intimacy alone o Companionate Loving Intimacy commitment Hendrick Hendrick s Love o Eros love focused on sexuality Styles beauty and o Agape love that is compassionate and selfless o Storge love that is peaceful and grounded in friendship o Pragma love that is practical and meets specific criteria o Ludus love that involves entertaining exciting games o Mania love that is dramatic involving elation and depression o Type of love style can impact intimacy relationships 1 agape and erotic are more collaborative 2 ludic tend to avoid communication or withdraw during conflicts 3 ludus is associated with less satisfaction in romantic relationships 3 4 agape eros rate romantic relationships as more rewarding more satisfying and more committed Relational Maintenance o def the actions people make to keep their relationship in a desired state o Strategic maintenance behaviors that are intentionally performed with the goal of maintaining the relationship ex having conversations about the relationship offer an apology o Routine maintenance behaviors that are performed unintentionally but that help to keep a relationship functioning ex things that are part of your daily routine like taking out the garbage or making dinner Relational Dialectics Theory coping with tensions in relationships o def a perspective that emphasizes the trade offs that create tension in close o Relational