Divorce remarriage Micro effects on parents 18 months following divorce increased illness accidents psychological disturbances suicides even when person wanted divorce presence of intimate confidant increases parents resilience o females fare better emotionally following divorce o men fare better financially following divorce micro effects on children 18 months post separation immediate reaction stress disorganization anxiety relief is only expressed by older children in high conflict violent situations how child copes in the short run varies based largely on two factors o age of child at time of divorce developmental stage affects ability to reason and attributions made the coparental divorce cont sex of child coparenting parents coordinate activities and cooperate in raising children parallel parenting gravitate toward more detached style both parents operating separately the economic divorce many fathers fade from children s lives because they cannot or will not contribute to their support o painful for many fathers many mothers are hit with a financial double whammy o lose husbands income o average mother s standard of living goes down one preschool 2 5 third in the first year frightened play inhibition greater irritability and temper tantrums GUILT most pervasive reaction Early school age 6 8 Fear of abandonment and rejection Irritability poor impulse control Possessive Difficulty expressing anger and emotions towards the same person Sadness most pervasive reaction Later school age 9 12 Actively attempt to organize and understand feelings Angry aggressive Shame aware of social reaction and stigma Somatic symptoms Shaken sense of moral code right and wrong Decreased self esteem Parental split most likely to get caught between parents Adolescence Feel forced to grow up Anger see parents as immature Confusion about future life choices Decreased involvement in age appropriate activities temporary REMARRIAGE brief lecture focus on the textbook who remarries Rate of remarriage not keeping pace with divorce rate Those most likely to remarry following divorce are in order o Men o Younger women o Women without children o Whites o Middle income What are remarriages like Just as happy not as stable Does not appear to improve psychological adjustment for either partner challenges o Why Remarriages can be tougher face different Stepfamilies the incomplete instituion Long standing myths about stepfamiles Remarried families are just like 1st marriage families myth Parenting roles are different Adult child relationships are different Everyone is better off because they are now in a 2 parent o Reality family myth o Reality Psychological adjustment does not improve in general for women or children from single parent family form Most difficult transition is for adolescents and girls Children leave home earlier in stepfamilies than in any other type Common challenges in stepfamilies Loyalty conflicts for both parent and child Conflict competition between children Financial stress ties into loyalty issues Confusion over roles and discipline Guidelines for successful stepfamilies Adults should discuss roles BEFORE the marriage older children should also be a part of those discussions Don t assume an instant family Don t give stepparent decision making control over adolescent in some cases it will evolve Communicate clearly to all children involved in the family the rules of the house and how they will be administered ex who disciplines them This will vary based on the age of the child