Contemporary Ideas of Sexuality Love and Marriage How do people choose a mate 10 21 2013 All societies have norms rules and controls about whom one should choose as a partner and marry The two extremes are arranged vs free choice o US among most extreme Partners tend to share similar group identities race ethnicity education economics What is Love Biological Explanation Biochemical Reaction o In love release of stimulation a natural amphetamine o Tolerance over time Attachment Theory Our primary motivation is to be connected o Security o Survival need Childhood experiences o Secure o Avoidant o Anxious Theories about Love Reiss s Wheel of Theory of Love includes four stages o Rapport o Self revelation o Mutual dependency o Personality need fulfillment The stages can be repeated many times Steinberg s Triangular theory of love has three elements o Passion o Intimacy o Decision commitment relationships Feminizationg of Love Different degrees of the three elements from different types of love Love increasingly defined only in female terms o Myth that women need love more than men o Myth that women more skilled at love than men Since 19th century love defined in terms of characteristics that women tend to me more skilled at o Emotional expression self disclosure affection Consistent with gender roles men and women prefer different types of love o Men provide instrumental help o Share physical activities Our society stresses expressive aspect of love and not instrumental assumes that relationships and feelings unimportant to men Love should be more androgynous Gender differences Females distinguish much more between liking and loving than men BUT when men are in love they tend to describe their feelings in more passionate terms o Men more romantic o Men fall in love sooner and harder o Remain in love longer than women Once in a relationship o Women are more expressive o More intense o More likely to idealize the object of their affection 10 21 2013 10 21 2013