Read relevant chapters in the book and notes on Blackboard EXAM 2 STUDY GUIDE 1 Hooking up what is it Who does it Hooking up is ones own definition of the word Anywhere from sexual Although 80 of students had at least one hookup only 1 3 involve intercourse to kissing to oral sex Everyone participates in hookup culture sexual intercourse Virginity is rare 25 39 of students are virgins Number of hookup partners is large 90 had 2 or fewer partners only 2 had more than 5 2 Sexuality definitions Beliefs Values Behaviors Sexual identity or orientation Heterosexual homosexual straight or gay Bisexual Transgender 3 Sexual assault victims most likely how many Sexual assault penetrating any orifice oral anal vaginal using force or threat of force 22 of women report sexual assault 14 of men Most likely to be women before it will be men 4 Motives and myths about rape Rape is penetration using force or threat of force 13 or women report have been raped 3 of men Common cause of PTSD post traumatic stress disorder Effects of rape Fear pregnancies STI fear of not being believed Shock Disbelief Embarrassment providing details to strangers Guilt should have done something differently Depression and anger Shame disgusted with own body over showering Rape trauma syndrome Stage 1 Acute Physical symptoms eating sleeping stomach problems etc Emotional symptoms shame revenge anger humiliation etc Stage 2 long term process Changes in lifestyle alarm system dog daily routine Dreams nightmares Phobias specific or general paranoia 5 Communication Deb Tannen s work on men and women differences in talking Men s Style Competitive Action oriented Solution oriented Women s style Connection oriented Relationship oriented Affiliative 6 Nonverbal communication how much Estimated that 65 of communication is nonverbal Verbal Written relationships Ability to interpret nonverbal communication important in successful 7 Listening what makes a good listener Listeners influence the telling of the story Listener s motives or goals Persuasion Directing Discovery Looking for opening to jump in and control Attempt to channel the conversation 8 Mixed messages definition Attentive listening to learn Discrepancy between the verbal and nonverbal components 9 4 Horsemen what s the worst one Know the differences Criticism Refers to the person specifiacally not the behavior Overgeneralizes Not the same as a complaint Complaint is about a specific behavior NOT the person Defensiveness Excuses justification denial Whiny voice tone Contempt worse one Indicates you do not value partner s worth Icy stare disgust eye rolling sighs Put downs mockery sarcasm Withdrawal stonewalling Indicates you do not care Emotionally quitting 10 How to fight not fight Negotiate from adult position Avoid ultimatums If one loses both lose Say what you really mean Own your feelings Avoid accusations and attacks State wishes clearly Check our perceptions Never use sex to settle disagreements Repeat the message you think you received Refuse to fight dirty Resist silent treatment Focus on issue Call time out Use humor Seek closure 11 Fighting conflict styles 12 passiveness vs aggressiveness vs assertiveness Passive passive devitalized boring relationship both lose level of intimacy low Passive aggressive dominated relationship I win you lose level of intimacy low Aggressive aggressive conflicted relationship both lose level of intimacy low Assertive assertive vital growing relationship both win high level of intimacy 13 Why don t women leave abusive relationships Safety issues Threats of retaliation Fear of Talking about Abuse to others Breaking isolation Access to resources Survival strategies Batterer accountability Fear of separation violence 73 of battered women seek emergency medical services after separation Up to 75 of domestic assaults reported to police are made after Women are most likely to be killed when attempting to report abuse or Approximately one half of males who kill their wives do so after separation leave the abuser separation 14 Lifetime risk of abuse for women and sexual assault 15 Child abuse characteristics most common most abusive etc Neglect most common Physical abuse Emotional abuse Sibling abuse Sexual abuse Child to parent abuse Effect on children In 85 of police calls for domestic violence children had witnessed the violence Witnessing parental violence is a risk for Males to physically abuse Females to become victims of abuse Child abuse Physical or mental injury sexual abuse or negligent treatment of children under age 18 Crosses all social economic and ethnic classes 16 2 types of domestic violence Seven times more likely among low income families Physical abuse is almost always accompanied by psychological abuse Psychological abuse can occur without physical abuse Damaging by itself Predictor of post traumatic stress disorder Abuse as a process Start with psychological progressing to include physical 17 Eating disorders definitions characterizations Anorexia nervosa characterized by a pursuit of thinness that leads to self starvation is dieting Begins with individuals restricting certain foods not unlike someone who May exhibit unusual behaviors with regards to food Preoccupied with thoughts of food and may show obsessive compulsive tendencies related to food A disease of the mid adolescent period Denial of the seriousness of the current low weight Intense fear of gaining weight Weight very decreased Female to Male ratio 10 1 Menstration absent Binge eating 25 50 of patients Mortality 5 per decade Bulimia Nervosa characterized by a cycle of binging followed by extreme behaviors to prevent weight gain such as purging Feelings of being ashamed after a binge are common Tend to adhere to a pattern of restricted caloric intake Later age at the onset of the disorder Are able to maintain a normal weight Will not seek treatment until they are ready Two subtypes Purging type self induced vomiting and laxatives as a way to get rid of the extra calories they have taken in Nom Purging type use a period of fasting and excessive exercise to make up for the binge Binge eating disorder characterized by regular binging but do not engage in Media is shaping society Girls get message very early on of how they should look All about the looks not the brain Photos are digitally altered girls see this and think they should measure up to that Media is how they want you to be Politics are considered a place for men only We don t question why the