Pamela De La Cruz Natalia Gomez-Salinas English 1301 2/14/18 How to write a How-To for Mrs. Rigal’s 1301 5th Block Class Monday night; the air is cold, the wind is chilly, and you have not had your mother’s delicious, creamy pasta for the past couple, gruelling days. The rain is pouring outside, droplets hitting the glass like bullets. It hits you, suddenly - hits you so hard you fall to the ground - you haven’t come up with a topic for Mrs. Rigal’s 1301 English class’ second assignment. Yet, it’s due at 11:59 exact; you have 5 minutes left. What are you to do? Google is no help, Bing isn’t real, God won’t answer your prayers. Do not fret, we are here to help in this dire time. The process is only 5 simple steps, steps that we will walk you through one by one in order to ensure your success in understanding and living the role of the perfect How-To essay writer. First, you may need a computer, laptop or smartphone - something with internet access. Second, knowledge about something, anything. Have a creative mind! Next, use your head. What is something you know how to do step-by-step? Not something mundane like tying your shoe, but rather, something impressive - impress Mrs. Rigal. Perhaps you know how to dab really well, or you’ve been a ninjutsu master ever since you watched your first episode of Naruto as a young lad? Maybe you’re a second away from starting your makeup tutorials youtube channel. Either way, there is something you know how to do. Use it today. Assuming you only know some of this topic you are interested in or you feel the need to reassure yourself, one may turn to a teenager’s favorite place: the library. Or Google, yourchoice. Do research! Look up your topic and nod in understanding. Soon, you too will be like Bob Ross, a master of your own art. By now, you are maybe bursting with passion and ideas, but before you explode, write or type it down. Freewrite, make an ugly mess that is understandable to you. Write with a total disregard of rules and grammar and structure. Look at your ideas, find the best ones, then formulate them together in a new and improved outline. Add bullet points! Add bold! Make your best work pop! Now that you’ve outlined, use that outline to write a draft. It’s a terrible draft. That’s okay, all drafts are bad. Just take a sip of your tea, relax, do some meditation. Now that you hate yourself less, look back at your draft, isn’t it terrible? You know what that means? The time has come to revise and edit! Ask yourself, “why am I such a bad writer?” Ask your friends the same thing - maybe even Mrs. Rigal. Now that you have their feedback, use their constructive criticism and Grammarly to aid your work - fix its broken wings. Meditate again, look at it one more time. Has it improved to your standard of godly work? No? Keep revising. If yes, you did it, champ, you’re one step closer to the end. We have reached our final voyage: finishing your essay and beginning your powerpoint. Cut the fat from your final draft, cut the edges, make it perfect. Sculpt your writing into the finest piece of literature Mrs. Rigal will ever lay her eyes on. Now, look up some,,, some,,, visually stunning visual aids to add as you open up Powerpoint or Google Slides. Type what you found the most important, practice your presentation. Your dog may be willing to listen to your work. It is no longer a dark night; it is 7 AM in the bright, sunny morning of a Saturday. Your work is submitted, and you have a cup of tea; it is warm in your cold fingertips. Your mother’s pasta is in the microwave, filling the room with a sweet aroma that engulfs your stomach withravenous delight. You know you will get a good grade, and you can relax for the weekend. Or, until Mrs. Rigal gives you her next