Fam Serv 1010 1st Edition Lecture 14Outline of Previous Lecture I. Conflict in RelationshipsII. Gottman’s 4 Horsemana. Criticismb. Defensivenessc. Contemptd. WithdrawalOutline of Current Lecture I. Dealing with ConflictII. Approach and Solve ConflictsIII. Demand-Withdraw PatternIV. Source of PowerV. Anger vs HurtCurrent Lecture1.) Dealing with conflict- Soften up your start-up- Make and Receive repair attempts (joke around)- Soothe yourself and each other (time-out)- Compromise, acceptance, going to have things that cause disagreements.2.) Approach and Solve Conflicts- Don’t yell, it doesn’t necessarily help- Don’t say, “calm down,” “shut up,” “calm down”- No personal attacks- Listen to body language- Remember you have choices- Issues stay between one another, etc…3.) Demand-Withdraw Pattern- Women tend to demand more- Men tend to withdraw more- Related to lower relationship satisfactionOne member (the demander) criticizes, nags, and makes demands of the other, while the partner (the withdrawer) avoids confrontation, withdraws, and becomes defensive.These notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.- Influences:- Whose issue is it?- Who wants the change?4.) Source of Power- Power is based on the control of valuable resources.- One derives power from controlling a resource only if other people want it.- The greater one’s need or desire, the greater one’s power.Gender: e.g. “flooding”- the flooding (overcome) with emotion. (ex. Heartrate, anger)- More men tend to have flooding responses.5.) Anger vs. Hurt- “Bleeding” analogy:- Are you okay? Offer care and concern- Physical hurt is clear- Emotional hurt is NOT
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