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URI KIN 123 - Domestic Violence

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KIN 123 1st EditionGuest Speakers: Lecture 4Partner Violence 101-URI violence prevention and advocacy services- Defining Partner Violence:o Physical, sexual, or psychological harm (or threat of harm) by a current or former partnero 1 in 4 women in the USo 1 in 14 men in the US- Why does this matter?o It’s a worldwide epidemico College students are especially at risko Anyone can abuse or be abusedo We can make a difference as college students to change the culture- What can cause abuse?o A strong sense of entitlemento An abuser believing they must have power and control over their partnero Belief that they can get away with ito Belief that their wants, needs, and lives take priority over their partner’so Making the choice to abuse- What cant cause abuseo Substance abuseo Stresso The victim’s behavioro Provocationo Angero Childhood experiences with abuseo Mental illness- Power and control: The Foundations of Abuseo Honeymoon phasetension buildingviolencehoneymoontension etc.- Kinds of abuse:o Physical Can include threats of harm Doesn’t need to leave a bruise to “count”o Psychological Belittling, criticizing, humiliation, name-calling, invading privacyo Sexual Being forced to perform or receive unwanted sexual actso Financial Controlling their finances in an attempt to make the victim stayo Spiritual- Common red flagso Physical violence or threatsThese notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.o Belittling, criticizing, humiliationo Extreme jealousy or insecurityo Possessivenesso Controlling behavioro Quick involvemento Isolation from friends and family- Misconceptions and mythso Abusers can’t control their behavioro Men can’t be abusedo Abuse only happens to certain kinds of peopleo If it were that bad, the victim would just leave- “Why don’t they just leave?”o Fearo Denial o Shame/embarrassmento Shared house, kids, pets, moneyo Pressure to stay from family or friendso Believes abuser will changeo Thinks It’s not so bado Violence will get worseo Afraid of not being believed o Love- Barriers for special populationso LGBTQ individualso People of coloro People of different abilitieso Male-identified individuals - Effects of abuseo Physical Changes in sleep patterns Eating too much or too little Sexual behavior changes Chronic pain Abusing substances to copeo Psychological Low self-esteem Depression Anxiety PTSD Changes in social behavior- Isolation, extroversion etc. - How can I help my friend?o Listen and be supportive Don’t share your own experiences, let them talko Be non-judgmentalo Try not to give adviceo Do not cut off communication with themo Do not force them to choose between you and the abusero Direct them to helpful resourceso Practice self-care- Ingredients of a healthy relationshipo Trusto Honestyo Respecto Communicationo Compromiseo Supporto Compassiono Time apart- You have the right to…o Be treated with dignity and respecto Ask for what you wanto Feel safe and free from harmo Follow your own values and standardso Say “no” and not feel guiltyo Take time for yourselfo Pursue your own interests and passionso Change, grow, and be happy - Stepping in as a bystandero Remember the 3 D’s Direct, Delegate, and Distracto Keep yourself safeo Strength in numberso Know who to call for


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