SOA 223 1nd Edition Lecture 23 Outline of Last Lecture 1. Attraction Outline of Current Lecture 1. Similarity2. Relationships3. Love StylesCurrent LectureAttraction: SimilarityWhy is similarity attractive?- Reassuring and reinforcing (consensual validation)- Expect to be liked and have good communication- Interaction with similar others can be more fun and enjoyable2 stage model of attraction processSimilarity Attraction… DissimilarityRepulsion?Liking those who like us: Reciprocal liking. - One person’s liking for another predicts others liking in return (balance)- Self-fulfilling prophecy of liking- Hard to get effectExchange Perspective to Choosing a partner- Rewards= any positive consequence- Costs= any negative consequence or loss- Comparison level= what we expect or feel we deserve from a relationship- Comparison level for alternatives= what we expect we could receive from another relationshipClose relationships & LoveThese notes represent a detailed interpretation of the professor’s lecture. GradeBuddy is best used as a supplement to your own notes, not as a substitute.Closeness & Intimacy? Feelings of attachment, fulfillment of psychological needs, interdependence, self-disclosureSelf-disclosure patterns in relationship- Pattern 1: Self-disclosure grows over time, in breadth & depth- Pattern 2: Strict reciprocity occurs to a greater degree early in the relationship- Pattern 3: Individual differences in self-disclosure… genderSecure & insecure attachment styles- Attachment style: the way a person typically interacts with significant othersLiking vs. Love- Zick Rubin’s scales- Liking scale measures respect, admiration, confidence in other- Love scale measures dependence on, trust in, feelings of responsibility for the otherPassionate Love vs. Companionate Love- Passionate love: intense absorption, likely to include anguish and pleasure- Schachter’s 2factor theory of emotion: physiological arousal, cues from context to label arousal- Companionate Love: affection felt by 2 people whose lives are deeply intertwinedo Less emotionally intenseo Accompanied by less sexual excitemento More stableTriangular Theory of Love (sternberg’s theory)1. Intimacy- emotional component2. Passion- motivational component3. Commitment- cognitive component3 components of love combine to create 8 subtypes of love…1. Non-love= no components2. Friendship= intimacy alone3. Infatuation= passion alone4. Empty love= commitment alone5. Romantic love= intimacy + passion6. Fatuous love= passion + commitment7. Companionate love= intimacy + commitment8. Consummate love= intimacy + passion + commitmentLove styles- Originally developed by John Lee (1973) based on interviews conducted with married couples- Hendrick and Hendrick (1986) developed a love attidues scale to measure the 6 styles of love- One can score high on more than 1 love styleSix love styles…- Eros: romantic, passionate love- Ludus: game-playing love- Storge: friendship love- Pragma: practical love- Mania: obsessive love- Agape: all-giving loveFinding related to love styles- 2 love styles most common in college romances are eros and storge- Men score higher on ludus and eros. Women higher on stroge, pragma, and maniaEquity Issues- Balance counts- Worse to be under benefiting partnerFactors associated with lower marital satisfaction and/or likelihood of divorce- Passage of time- Personality characteristics, neuroticism- Lower SES- Marrying at young ageRelationship Issues: communication & conflict- Research by Gottman has identified”4 horsemen of apocalypse”- negative behaviors harmful to the relationshipo Criticism o Defensivenesso Stonewalling- resisting dealing with problemso Contempt- most problematic- Communication patterns in troubled relationship:o Negative affect reciprocityo Demand/withdrawal interaction