Name: ________________________________Process Activity: Revising ParagraphsFor each of the sample paragraphs below, diagnose the unity, topic sentences, and coherence. Be prepared todiscuss ways to improve the paragraphs through revision.Paragraph #1: From the discussion section of Golay et al.'s research paper(1) In this study we evaluated the effects of low-energy diets that varied substantially in their relative proportions of fat and carbohydrate on both weight loss and various metabolic endpoints. (2) The amount of weight loss was similar in response to the two diets, and was apparently independent of the amount of fat or carbohydrate in the two test diets, being related most closely to total energy intake. (3) On the other hand, variations in dietary composition did appear to modify the beneficial effects of weight loss on certain measures of carbohydrate and lipid metabolism. (4) More specifically, the fall in fasting plasma glucose, insulin, cholesterol, triacylglycerol, and HDL-cholesterol concentrations was decreased in subjects eating a low-energy diet relatively high in carbohydrate, and the changes in plasma insulin and triacylglyerol concentrations were not statistically significant in these subjects.UnityTopic sentenceCoherenceParagraph #2: From the discussion section of Volek et al.'s research paper(1) Similar to our prior work, a significant decrease in body weight occurred during the carbohydrate-restricted diet (-2.2 kg) despite encouragement to consume more food to maintain weight, which has also been reported in previous free-livinglow-carbohydrate diet interventions. (2) The small but nonsignificant reduction in voluntary dietary energy intake may have been due to fewer food choices, the higher satiety value of fat and protein, or the anorectic effect of ketosis. (3) The cumulative effect of the small reduction in dietary energy of 0.86 MJ/d (205 kcal/d) over 6 weeks would be predicted to result in a 1.1-kg weight loss, about half of the observed 2.2-kg decrease in body mass. (4) Notable was the composition of weight loss. (5) The entire loss in body weight was from fat and there was a significant increase in soft tissue lean bodymass. (6) These changes occurred despite no alteration in each subject's exercise pattern.UnityTopic sentenceCoherenceParagraph #3: From the discussion section of Volek et al.'s research paper (1) The significant decrease in fat mass indicates that adipose tissue mobilization was upregulated on the carbohydrate-restricted diet, which is also supported by the elevated ketone concentrations. (2) Inhibition of lipolysis occurs at relatively low concentrations of insulin with a half-maximal effect occurring at a concentration of 12 pmol per liter. (3) The significant reduction in insulin from 23.7 to 15.6 pmol per liter may have been permissive to mobilization of body fat on the carbohydrate restricted diet. (4) Although a cause and effect relationship cannot be established, it is interesting to note that there was a significant correlation between the decrease in insulin concentrations and the decrease in body fat on the carbohydrate-restricted diet. (5) We acknowledge the limitations associated with measuring circulating concentrations of hormones, which do not necessarily reflect changes in hormone biosynthesis/secretion or receptor uptake and signal induction. (6) Thus, other hormones that affect lipid metabolism that were either not measured (e.g., growth hormone, epinephrine) or not correlated to the change in fat mass (e.g., cortisol, glucagon) may have also contributed to the proportionally large decrease in fat mass.UnityTopic
View Full Document
Unlocking...