WORLD FAMILY POLICY FORUM 200017I APPRECIATE DR. WILLIAMS’ SCHOLARLY review of the researchon homosexual parenting and its implications for children.May I begin with a bit of history? A few years ago, I receivedtwo booklets in the mail. An anonymous letter accompaniedthe booklets. The booklets were: Heather Has Two Mommiesand Daddy’s Roommate. At first, I thought they were a joke.Then as I read them, I realized they were serious. Those twobooks served as an impetus for my interest in parenting anddifferential effects of children, an interest that was height-ened last year with an article in the American Psychologist, theflagship journal of the American Psychological Association. Ishare with you here a few quotes from that article, entitled“Deconstructing the Essential Father.” The authors argue thatneither mothers nor fathers are essential to child develop-ment and that responsible fathering can occur within a vari-ety of family structures (Silverstein and Auerbach). The articlecame on the heels of another politically-motivated article inthe APA-approved journal whose conclusions indicated thatadult-adolescent sex may fall within the normal range ofhuman sexual behavior and that sex abuse may not be “asharmful.” Among other things, the authors suggested that awilling sexual encounter between an adult and a child belabeled simply adult-child sex, a value neutral term insteadof child-sexual abuse or molestation (Rind, Tromovitch andBauserman).A firestorm of controversy erupted at the American Psy-chological Association (APA) Headquarters where theyreceived 27,000 petitions. The article was condemned byboth houses of Congress, and the APA came close to beingcensured by both houses of Congress, an unprecedentedevent. Although the article on deconstructing father did notgenerate quite as much controversy, it added to the erosionof the APA and psychologists in general. Let me share a few more quotes from the article with you. The authors pro-ceeded to make a case (not based on research) for homo-sexual parenting. Then, to their credit, they make the follow-ing statements:We acknowledge that our reading of the scientific litera-ture supports our political agenda. Our goal is to generatepublic policy initiatives that support men in their father-ing role, without discriminating against women andsame-sex couples. We are also interested in encouragingpublic policy that supports the legitimacy of diverse fam-ily structures, rather than policy that privileges the two-parent, heterosexual, married family.Further, the authors state:We also realize that some of the research we cite to sup-port our perspective will turn out to be incorrect. Har-roway (1989) pointed out that as research paradigmsevolve to reflect diverse gender, ethnic, class, and culturalperspectives, much of the established body of scientificfact has turned out to be science fiction. Fischhoff (1990)identified two options for psychologists in the publicarena: helping the public define their best interests ormanipulating the public to serve the best interests of pol-icy makers (Silverstein and Auerbach).With this political backdrop, I would like to lead youthrough a brief review of the literature that demonstratesthat heterosexual parenting is best for children; why, ifHeather has two mommies, it’s not the same as if Heatherhas a dad, or why daddy’s roommate doesn’t quite make upfor a mother.There are gender-linked differences in child-rearing skills.Men and women contribute differently to their children’sdevelopment. Children of parents who are sex-typed aremore competent (Baumrind). Research clearly demonstratesthat the most effective parenting approach is one which isboth highly demanding and highly responsive (Baumrind).Psycho-social maturity and competence among humans con-sists of the integration of communion, which is defined as theneed to be included, connected, and related, and agency, orthe drive for independence, individuality, and self-fulfill-ment. Children need expressive and instrumental parenting,or roots and wings, so to speak. Communion and union areextremely difficult for either a man or woman alone to com-bine effectively (Greenberger). Children learn about male-female relationships by seeing how their parents relate toeach other. Children learn about trust, intimacy, and caringbetween the sexes. More importantly, parental relationshipsprovide children with a model of the most meaningful het-erosexual relationship that the great majority of individualswill have during their lifetimes—marriage.Fathers do things differently from mothers. Fathers’ par-enting styles are not only highly complementary to whatmothers do, but by all indications are important in their ownright for optimum child rearing. For example, complemen-tarity is provided by mothers who are flexible, warm, andsympathetic, and fathers who are more directive, predictable,and consistent. Both dimensions are critical for an efficient,effective, balanced, and humane child-rearing regime.THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD: DUAL GENDER PARENTINGA. Dean Byrd, research and staff development, Brigham Young UniversityResearch suggests that mothers are more able to read aninfant’s facial expressions, handle with tactile gentleness, andsoothe with the use of the voice (Rossi). Mothers providecomfort with gentleness and emotional acceptance with tod-dlers, while men are more active, arousing, and overtly stim-ulating in nurturing activities; fathers foster certain physicalskills and emphasize autonomy, individuality, and inde-pendence. Mothers tend to be responsive, fathers firm; moth-ers stress emotional security and relationships, fathers focuson competition and risk-taking behaviors; mothers expressmore concern for the child’s immediate physical and physio-logical well being, fathers are more concerned for the child’slong run autonomy, independence, and self-management(Popenie). Fathers tend to emphasize overt play more thancare-taking. Play in various forms among the young appearscritical for later developments (Yogman).Father’s play is likely to be both physically stimulatingand exciting since it consists of rough-and-tumble play,which by the way, is one of the factors that is predictive oflater gender identity problems and homosexual develop-ment. Father’s play resembles an apprenticeship or teachingrelationship. Mothers play tends to take place more at thechild’s level. Notice that more mothers talk baby talk