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MIT 21A 230J - Divorce I

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DIVORCE IApril 8, 2004 DIVORCE I Read: Coontz: Putting Divorce in Perspective. 97-108 Hackstaff: Divorce Culture: A Quest for Relational Equality in Marriage Lawson and Thompson: Divorce and Fatherhood Mason, Harrison-Jay, Svare, Wolfinger: Stepparents: De Facto Parents or Legal Strangers I. Family values debate A. Divorce is one significant issue of the debate, which is about family change B. Demography: reminder 1. Whether we are against or for liberal divorce laws, it is important to know that some of the cause of the higher rates of divorce is that people die far less often a. Even with 50% divorce rate, couples are far more likely to survive to a 45th wedding anniversary than before b. People live longer, there are going to be more divorces because there are more years to stay married or to decide to divorce II. The Range of views A. Conservatives (Hackstaff’s “pessimists”) 1. Because she is comparing “marriage culture” to “divorce culture” B. Liberals (Hackstaff’s “optimists”) are not nearly as opposed to change; some provide a functionalist-like explanation for change, which is what Coontz does for divorce C. There are other ways to characterize the splits, drawing finer distinctions 1. E.g., a 4-way split, adding centrists and distinguishing feminists from liberals a. Giele’s article D. Note that yesterday’s liberals tend to become today’s conservatives III. Discourses vary A. Religious positions defining divorce (or out-of-wedlock births, etc.)2 1. As “wrong” do so because they’re seen as morally wrong 2. This is analytically different from a position that sees divorce as “wrong” because it is seen as detrimental to society, damaging to children, whatever a. The position of those we might call secular conservatives B. Within an overall normative frame that sees change as good, bad, etc. 1. “Conservatives” want to conserve 2. “Reactionaries” want to turn back the clock 3. Conservatives promote what Hackstaff calls “marriage culture” IV. Hypothesized causes of family change vary, too A. In addition to the evaluation made of the changes as good, bad, etc. 1. Often closely linked, but must be kept analytically separate B. Conservatives see causes in terms of personal values, declining morals, etc. 1. So they would say the rise in divorce stems from a deemphasis of duty, obligation, and personal restraint a. Selfishness, “me-first” values b. Parental permissiveness 1) Corporal punishment more likely to be approved of 2. Religious conservatives might attribute it to “secular humanism”, another attitude 3. And conservatives tend to suggest that value, attitudinal changes are what’s necessary to improve things a. Propose a deliberately engineered change in the culture: reestablish traditional family values, become more religious b. Along with some policy/legislative change, such as making divorces harder to get3 1) Recently in Louisiana and Arizona legislation was passed establishing “covenant marriage” in which the spouses give up their right to no-fault divorce 2) In fact, a proposal for two types of marriage was advanced more than 50 years ago by Margaret Mead, the anthropologist 3) The more committed type was entered into when the couple decide to have children 4) Think about this: would it work? 5) One criticism would be that one member of the couple would pressure the other into entering into a covenant type of marriage because that showed the greatest commitment, was more of a compliment, looked better to relatives, etc. a) So that the type of marriage in which no-fault divorce would apply would be seen as second-best 4. Note that critics of divorce don’t necessarily reject gender equality in marriage, but they do tend to set it apart C. Liberals tend to look at family change as produced by broad social changes 1. Which are inevitable, so we must confront them, deal with them a. Some of which are positive b. E.g., higher rates in divorce are partly due to: 1) Trend toward equality of men and women 2) Women having economic options other than marriage c. Heatherington: 1) Although families who are poor, African-American, and suffering multiple life stresses are more likely to divorce 2) The rise in economic independence for well-educated women also has led to a greater likelihood that these women will divorce compared to their less-educated peers4 3) Some would say the second factor is good in itself, although divorce is not good d. Note that, like abortion, no one says divorce is good 1) “Divorce culture” can be a misleading characterization e. Debates are about whether it should be available, how freely available, and what kinds of couples/pregnancies qualify 2. We hear about inevitability much more from liberals and feminists a. This is precisely the argument made by someone like Coontz D. Liberals will seem to be on the women’s side and conservatives will seem to be on the men’s side 1. But there is no necessary reason apart from history and a patriarchal past why they are linked in this way a. In other times and places women have collectively been more conservative than men IV. When to divorce? A. Conservative view: divorce should be resorted to only if there is violence, gross misbehavior by a spouse, or marital discord that does not yield to protracted and sincere efforts at resolution 1. In particular, no-fault provisions for divorce was a mistake a. No-fault: divorce no longer seen as the fault of someone b. No longer assess blame and victimhood 1) Alimony in addition to child support based on contributions and need but also $$ awards were punitive if spouse at fault had assets c. Acceptable reasons for the divorce much broader d. Earlier: one had to do the divorce, show the other’s fault 1) In NY state evidence that the spouse was adulterous was required5 a) Some couples went so far as to set up a fake situation e. Prior to no-fault, in cases of mutual agreement on the divorce the husband often let the wife obtain the divorce; a chivalrous gesture f. But note that, as was the case in the 17th and 18th century as


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MIT 21A 230J - Divorce I

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