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CSUF HCOM 100 - ADAPTING TOOTHERS NOTE

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There 7 general characteristics of competent communicators5. Competent Communicators are Cognitively ComplexFinally, cognitively simple people more likely than cognitively complex people seek out information that’s consistent w/ their prior beliefs.PERCEPTIONS“Because God left men and women free, and humans chooseto ignore God’s teaching” OR “Because the Earth is theDevil’s domain.”Agenda Week Two*The seven characteristics of a competent communicator:1. How complete is your behavioral repertoire?2. Decisions, decisions…3. Walking the walk4. Empathy: “If you were you…”5. Cognitive complexity: “My dear Watson…6. Self-monitoring 7. Afraid of commitment? I hope not.*Perception & World View defined & explained*Next week: Our perceptual limitations!WEEK 2: COMPETENCE & PERCEPTIONCommunication Competence- A competent communicator achieves his or her communication goals in waythat maintains or enhances relationship that communication takes place in. Ex. If you need $$$ from your romantic partner, two goals:(1) Persuade partner to give you cash, (2) Maintain partner’s respect and affection.A competent communicator would be able to accomplish both goals.Ex. If mother needed to discuss sons or daughters poor grades, two goals:(1) Firmly indicate the consequences of such poor performance (2) Display disappointment and concern, not anger and resentment.A competent mother would be able to achieve both goals with her communication.There 7 general characteristics of competent communicators1. Competent Communicators have a plethora of communicative options at their disposal.Ex. A skilled communicator can be serious or friendly, contemplative or dynamic, forceful or indirect, straightforward or sarcastic.But possessing variety of communication strategies isn’t very useful unless communicator can… 2. Choose appropriate strategy in given situation. This isn’t always easy. Ex. If an athletic team isn’t performing, what is best motivational strategy coach can use? (a) Fear appeal? (b) Guilt or pity appeal? (c) Humerous Appeal? (d) Warmth Appeal (e.g., “It will bring us closer as a team if we win”)? (e) Ingratiation (i.e., Kissing Up)?(f) A Threat?And even if you have chosen the most appropriate behavior, then must…3. Skillfully Execute the Behavior.Ex. Breaking up with someone. Decide on a serious, straightforward strategy.SKILLFUL COMMUNICATOR focus not on physical or personality traits that caused breakup, but instead on factors such as: -Wrong place or time (“We’re too young”) -Value differences (You’re Catholic, I’m a Trekky) -Different goals for future (You want to have kids, I don’t)UNSKILLED COMMUNICATOR mention physical or personality traits. -You’re too heavy-I’d prefer someone who showers more frequently-You’re apartment makes Saddam Huesain’s Fox Hole look like a resort.**Which segways nicely into next characteristic effective communicator…4. Effective Communicators are empathetic.Difference between “Empathy” and “Sympathy.”Sympathy- Involves the logic of “If I were You, how would I feel…”Empathy- Involves the logic of “If you were You, how would you feel…”Ex. Sympathy: Take couple Jack and Jill. Jill is home sick, Jack feels bad, wants to cheer her up.Jack- “If I were at home sick, I’d love to watch Steven Segal movies all Day.” Goes to Blockbuster, gets Steven Segal movies for JillJill- Projectile vomits on Jack’s new shoes.Ex. Empathy: Jack- “If Jill were home sick, what would Jill want to watch?” Goes to Blockbuster, gets Hugh Grant movies for Jill.Jill- Grabs the wastebasket before vomiting, preserves Jack’s new shoes.5. Competent Communicators are Cognitively ComplexCognitive Complexity refers to an individual’s ability to develop variety of explanations or descriptions about an interaction episode.Cognitively complex people develop more explanations & descriptions of other’s behavior than cognitively simple people do.Obviously, if person realizes there could have been many explanations for particular individual’s actions… …He or she less likely to jump to conclusions or make false assumptions about meaning of behavior.Ex. My Grandma has very direct communication style: some might even callit tactless. She’s lives w/parents, bedridden, often calls out “What are you doing” in seemingly hostile tone at whomever walks by.Apparently, I’m “cognitively simple,” because only explanation I developed was she was being tactless & rude.But, my more “cognitively complex” mom point out she’s just lonely, wants whomever walking by come in for conversation.If I cognitively complex, I would have thought of that. So I’ve been being rude back to my Grandma for some time now, at time in her life when should be treating her especially kindly.Furthermore, cognitively complex people not only develop more descriptions, interpretations, and explanations of others behavior… …They also develop more logical and nonbiased accounts of others behavior as well. Finally, cognitively simple people more likely than cognitively complex people seek out information that’s consistent w/ their prior beliefs. Regardless of whether our prior beliefs are correct or not, this can be dangerous.Ex. Original Conclusion Correct, But Needed Altering Over Time: Say you meet a new mechanic, first impression positive. Cognitively simple, in future, only pay attention to mechanic’s behavior reinforces that perception… …Unconsciously ignore warning signs of dishonesty or incompetence.Ex. Original Conclusion False, Needed Changing:On first day class, Instructor seems disorganized, dimwitted, and unpreparedOnly explanation you develop: He’s an Idiot.Reality-He’s recovering from Pneumonia. Cognitively simple person would ignore instructor’s brilliant lectures in future, look for evidence to reconfirm first impression. 6. Competent Communicators Self-Monitor The Effectiveness of Their CommunicationHigh Self Monitors pay close attention to results their communication strategies, abandon ineffective strategies continue effective ones.High Self Monitors are able to objectively remove their ego from their evaluation of their behavior.In other words, if a high self monitor is doing something foolish, he/she will admit it and discontinue the behavior. Finally, Competent Communicators Are Committed To Their Relationships.Obviously, don’t care about


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CSUF HCOM 100 - ADAPTING TOOTHERS NOTE

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