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Revising the rough Draft Writing Effective Sentences



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Revising the Rough Draft handout 1 JOHNSON COUNTY COMMUNITY COLLEGE REVISING THE ROUGH DRAFT WRITING EFFECTIVE SENTENCES RESTRUCTURE SENTENCES WHENEVER NECESSARY TO AVOID WORDINESS Often you can combine sentences through subordination to avoid wordiness WORDY The expression Make no bones about it once painted a vivid mental picture of a man eager to swallow his soup The fact that he was eager kept him from objecting to any bones he might find in his soup CONCISE The expression Make no bones about it once painted a vivid mental picture of a man so eager to swallow his soup that he would not object to any bones he might find in it WORDY Alexander Pope was a poet of the eighteenth century and he wrote many famous lines One of these lines was Fools rush in where angels fear to tread CONCISE Alexander Pope a poet of the eighteenth century wrote such famous lines as Fools rush in where angels fear to tread ELIMINATE CARELESS OR NEEDLESS REPETITION OF WORDS AND IDEAS The repetition of the same word or idea in several sentences results in monotonous writing Use pronouns to avoid the overuse of a noun and use subordination or write a sentence with a colon to eliminate repetition of a large part of any given sentence REPETITIOUS Shakespeare was responsible for two of the expressions we hear today Shakespeare was responsible for the expressions milk of human kindness and Something is rotten in the state of Denmark CONCISE Shakespeare was responsible for two of the expressions we hear today Milk of human kindness and Something is rotten in the state of Denmark BE CAREFUL TO INCLUDE ALL NECESSARY ARTICLES PRONOUNS CONJUNCTIONS AND PREPOSITIONS That is one of the most common words omitted in student writing The world will never forget that Socrates died rather than give up his right to speak freely Without a that to introduce the subordinate clause the reader at first thinks that Socrates is the direct object of forget Revising the Rough Draft handout 2 That may be omitted when



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