INT'L.J.AGING AND HUMAN DEVELOPMENT, Vol. 51 (3) 183-198,2000MEETING THE CHALLENGEOF RAISING GRANDCHILDRENROBERT D. STROMSHIRLEY K. STROMArizona State University, TempeABSTRACTMore grandparents are raising grandchildren than ever before. The predict-able problems they experience include a revision of personal goals; learninghow growing up has changed since they raised their own children; cooperatingwith the parent who shares responsibility for child care; monitoring socialand academic progress of children; becoming aware of rights and availablesocial services; and arranging periodic relief from the daily demands of theirsurrogate obligations. Full-time grandparents often rely on support groupsfor comfort and advice. The advantages and limitations of this approach areexamined. Recommendations are made for ways to improve how supportgroups function so they can achieve their purposes.The authors have tried to assess the potential of grandparents and sought ways tohelp them become more successful. This effort spanning two decades has includedstudies of large and culturally diverse samples. Based upon these investigations,we formulated the first curriculum for grandparents; constructed instruments todetect their family learning needs and evaluate effects of intervention; trainedleaders from many countries to deliver grandparent instruction; and devised atheory of grandparent development to guide implementation and evaluation ofprograms (Strom & Strom, 1991a,b; 1992; 1993b; 1995; 1997; 1998; Strom et al.1995; 1996a,b; 1997).183© 2000, Baywood Publishing Co., Inc.184 / STROM AND STROMEXPECTATIONS OF GRANDPARENTSMany participants in our grandparent classes express the belief that the impor-tance of their role is declining because of uncertainty about what should beexpected of them in the emerging environment. Some maintain changing timeshave caused them to lose touch with the way younger relatives see things and feelabout the world. Others are disappointed because they are left out offamily deci-sion making and do not get enough time with their loved ones. On the other hand,parents frequently tell us that the contribution grandparents make is minimalbecause elders are preoccupied with the pursuit of self-interests. Most mothersand fathers in our parent education courses report feeling overwhelmed with allthey have to do and would welcome assistance from older relatives in raising thechildren (Strom&Strom, 1997).In stark contrast, a much smaller segment of grandparents present a differentstory (American Association of Retired Persons, 1997). They view their role asbeing important because it requires them to take care of grandchildren on a dailybasis. Their desire to effectively substitute for parents is common (de Toledo &Brown, 1996). The possibilities for these grandparents to succeed can increasewhenever professionals help them to recognize the adjustments they must make,encourage setting new goals that are consistent with their present circumstance,and improve how support groups function so that they offer encouragement,instruction, and feedback on personal progress.LIVING WITH GRANDPARENTSChildren living with grandparents is not a new phenomenon. But, there isgrowing concern because grandparent-headed households in the United Stateshave increased by 40 percent during the past decade. More than four million chil-dren are involved in this kind of a family arrangement (Saluter, 1996). There aremany conditions that can lead grandparents to assume the full time care of theirgrandchildren. An unmarried teenager might become a parent or a parent goesthrough a divorce, loses a job, requires free child care, develops an addiction toalcohol or illegal drugs, abuses their daughter or son, is sent to jail, suffers an ill-ness, or dies.People of all ethnic and income groups experience these problems. However,the incidence is far greater among low-income and minority families. AlthoughCaucasians are the majority (52%) of all households headed by grandparents, ahigher percentage of African American (12%) and Hispanic (6%) children thanCaucasians (4%) live with grandparents (Saluter, 1996). Regardless of why youngerrelatives live with them or the economic hardships they must endure, grandparentswho raise their grandchildren want to provide a stable and supportive environment(Kornhaber, 1996).RAISING GRANDCHILDREN / 185Grandparent Goals for Raising GrandchildrenKnowing someone else's goals makes it easier to understand her or him. Suchknowledge also reduces the inclination to misinterpret intentions or reach unfairconclusions about how well that person is doing. For these reasons, it is usefulto consider the goals successful grandparents raising grandchildren appear to havein common. Specifically, they aspire to 1) revise their personal goals to fit thepresent circumstance; 2) learn how growing up has changed since they raisedtheir own sons and daughters; 3) cooperate with the parent who shares responsi-bility for child care; 4) monitor the social and academic progress of children; and5) arrange periodic relieffrom the heavy demands of their role. Grandparents whorealize the benefits of achieving these goals are more motivated to pursue them.Revise Personal Goals and Maintain OptimismIt has been our observation that resistance to this goal is most often demon-strated by middle-income Caucasians. Their opposition stems from the belief thatcaring for a grandchild requires a loss of their freedom. They waited a long timefor their children to grow up, supposing it would then be possible to devote atten-tion to personal interests and ambitions. Maybe they had plans to travel, becomemore involved in hobbies, or do things with their spouse or friends. Perhaps theyimagined that the grandparent role would consist of fun visits, occasional baby-sitting, and indulging their grandchildren. But these dreams never came true becausedaughters or sons were unable to manage their own affairs. Even the future appearsuncertain when there is no way to forecast how long they will have to raise some-one else's child. The extraordinary demands on their time, energy, and financesresult in great strain (Jendrek, 1993, 1994; Kornhaber, 1996).Grandparents sometimes experience anger for being placed in a surrogate rolewith extensive responsibilities. Feelings of resentment toward those who createdthe situation, guilt about things they might have done wrong as a parent, anddoubts about their ability to manage by themselves are