2/23/20101Week 6 Review your “Invitation to Reflection: Writing Assumptions and Procedures Survey.”what changed? You may wishSurvey. what changed? You may wish to take some notes in your Reflective Journal.Agenda Hand in observation writing Organization: Text Structures(Hidden Slides: Writing Strong Introductions)(Hidden Slides: Writing Strong Introductions) Revision  (Hidden Slides: Editing) Instructional Planning: Teaching Writing Multiple Intelligences Introducing a TextOrganizationText StructuresSays and Does: Using Rhetoric To Understand Text Structures Read Columbus article quickly (3 minutes). Use Says and Does to analyze rhetorical moves in the text. Some possible rhetorical moves: Introduce an idea State a position or claim Cite prior authorities Summarize research Provide background information or contextArticle Analysis Narration to provide context; “They say”…(what historians have claimed); Beginning of “I say…” (the claim or statement fiibhi)of position by the writer); Stated claim (thesis); Cause and effect analysis; Development of central claim; Part-to-whole analysis; Restatement of claim/summary2/23/20102What did you learn? About text structures? About reading?About teaching organization?About teaching organization?Remember… “When teachers give students a simple way to write something, not only are they not true to the product, they aren’tthey not true to the product, they aren t true to the process either.” Katie Wood Ray. “Exploring Inquiry as a Teaching Stance in the Writing Workshop.”Hidden Slides:Writing Strong IntroductionsStrong IntroductionsStrategy #1: Begin with a question.What changes from a 10gfyellow, white and black three inch worm-like animal into a bright orange and black creature with a four inch wing span? The beautiful monarch butterfly!Strong IntroductionsBegin with descriptionAs the hot days of August and September in eastern Pennsylvania near their 11yend, swarms of thousands of bright orange and black butterflies gather together. They cover trees and bushes and carpet the roadways as they assemble in preparation for their long southern migration.Strong IntroductionsStrategy #3: Begin with an interesting factIf you want to tell if a Monarch butterfly is 12If you want to tell if a Monarch butterfly is male or female, look at its forelegs. If they end in peculiar spiny knobs, you are looking at a female.2/23/20103Revision13Donald Murray “Lower your standards until you can start writing.” “Writing is rewriting.”14William Zinsser “Rewriting is the essence of writing well—where the game is won or lost.”15RevisionRevision is about making (and shaping/ reshaping) meanings.16Revision (RE-visioning, re-seeing) is RETHINKING.Revision is often messy.Revision: Teach Students to Ask These Questions: Does my title help my piece? Does it tell too much or too little? Does it intrigue a reader?17intrigue a reader? Is my introduction interesting and effective? Is the introduction “warm up” for me as a writer? What would happen if I began with the next paragraph instead? Two paragraphs later?Revision: Teach Students to Ask These Questions: What else does my reader need to know? Have I provided enough information for a reader to follow my18information for a reader to follow my ideas? Will a reader be emotionally connected to my piece? Have I included too much? What could I cut out?2/23/20104Revision: Teach Students to Ask These Questions: Have I presented my material in the clearest and most effective order for a reader?19reader? Am I telling or showing? Can I add dialogue, descriptive detail, facts, statistics, anecdotes to enliven my writing? Is my conclusion logical? Believable? Organic?RevisionFour Key Revision StrategiesReordering20ReorderingSubstitutionAdditionSubtractionRevisionFour Key Revision StrategiesReordering21ReorderingSubstitutionAdditionSubtractionRandy Koch: Teaching Revision1. Give things and people the dignity of their own names.2. Avoid weak helping and linking verbs. Use ifi ti b i t d22specific action verbs instead.3. Use specific, concrete sensory details.4. Show, don’t tell, particularly by using dialogue.5. Cut clutter.6. Vary sentence structure and length.Revision Strategies In order to revise, writers need to distance themselves from their own words.23The dog ate my homework! (Tsujimoto’s“memory revision”) Partner revision Cut and paste revisionRevision (Donald Graves) “If revision is taught at all, it is taught as a punishment for not getting it right the first time.”the first time. “Revision is like putting a manicure on a corpse.”2/23/20105Planning for Revision: Advice from Maureen Rippee First diagnostic paper: make a class list of things the class has to work on (25 items or so).items or so). Post the list. Cross off items as the group progresses. Target focus lessons to these items.Hidden SlidesEditingEditingSentence level changes/corrections27Revision= global changesEditingAndrea Lunsford and Robert Connors found that only TWENTY mistakes f28comprise 91.5% of all errors in student texts.("Frequency of Formal Errors in Current College Writing, or Ma and Pa Kettle Do Research." The St. Martin's Guide to Teaching Writing2nd ed. Ed. Robert Connors and Cheryl Glenn. New York: St. Martin's, 1992, 398.)Twenty Most Common Errors Missing comma after an introductory element  Vague pronoun reference  Missing comma in a compound sentence  Unnecessary shift in pronoun  Sentence fragment  Wrong tense or verb form  Lack of subject-verb agreement29p Wrong word  Missing comma(s) with a nonrestrictive element  Wrong or missing verb ending  Wrong or missing preposition  Comma splice  Missing or misplaced possessive apostrophe  Unnecessary shift in tense agreement  Missing comma in a series  Lack of agreement between pronoun and antecedent  Unnecessary comma(s) with a restrictive element  Fused sentence  Misplaced or dangling modifierIts/It'sconfusion Twenty Most Common Errors: “Low Hanging “Portable” Fruit” Missing comma after an introductory element  Vague pronoun reference  Missing comma in a compound sentence Unnecessary shift in pronoun  Sentence fragment  Wrong tense or verb form  Lack of subject-verb agreement30compound sentence  Wrong