Summer 2002 • ENGLISH 2O • Professor TanakaFEEDBACK ON DIAGNOSTIC1. Many of you got off the topic. You analyzed “The Big Green” (BG) rather thanargued for what you believe Kushman would say about BG based upon whathe said about the new Disney “Cinderella” (NDC). The topic assumes that youhave read and analyzed Kushman. So you couldn’t do an effective job ofanswering the question if you were not first clear about what Kushman saidabout NDC. (A few of you ignored Kushman entirely.)2. On the other hand, some of you decided to say that Kushman would havebeen just as harsh on BG as he was on NDC. Even though the interpretation offilms is not black/white and does not always lead to right/wrong answers,claiming that Kushman would be just as critical of BG would be very difficult todefend. The easiest approach (the one I was looking for) would have been foryou to argue that Kushman would have either approved of BG or at least giventhe film the benefit of the doubt.3. Your analysis should have considered the that fact that BG presents a set of“messages” that Kushman would probably approve of (based upon hisanalysis of NDC) and BG remains fairly consistent throughout. In other words, itdoes not obviously contradict its own messages.3. Many of you ignored the fact that Kushman is really very generous in hiscritique of NDC. He has no problem with magic or glass slippers as long asthe logic of the film holds up. And even here, Kushman only attacks some of themost obvious cases of inconsistency and stereotyping. Notice that he keepssaying it is important to remember that this is story for children and so on.4. Even when it comes to contradictions, he points out two types of logicalerrors. In the first case, the film contradicts what the director says he wanted todo in the film. These are external inconsistencies. The second are the internalinconsistencies, where characters contradict their own statements or actions5. Since the question does not assume the director of BG made anystatements as to her intentions in the film, you can suppose that Kushmanwould focus on the second type of inconsistency. And given its initialassumptions, BG remains fairly consistent.6. Some of you said you did not like the racial stereotyping in BG, but Kushmandid not really bring up that point in his critique of NDC. Stay with Kushman.7. You were not supposed to make any personal statements about what youfelt about Kushman, BG or NDC. This was a simple objective question.8. Many of you argued that Kushman would have objected to the deputy beingthe coach of the team. But you never really defend your position and take intoconsideration the fact that Anna is new in the country not to mention being newin town, that she makes the deputy run along with the others, etc. The factsseem to indicate that she is “sharing” the coaching responsibilities rather thanturning things over to a male as some of you suggested. So your negativearguments don’t seem to hold up.SEE THE HANDOUT ON HIDDEN MESSAGES ON YOUR CD.FORMAT1. You should have a title on your paper, but no title pages.2. You should follow your comp text when it comes to using quotation marksaround film titles, book titles, etc. You do not have to use footnotes or formallyannotate the films and articles. Simply referring to them by name is sufficient.3. There were many basic sentence structure errors. You should not have anycomma splices, fragments or run-on sentences. Use your handbook.4. Many of you had problems with shifts in point of view (POV).5. Many of you exhibited weak and undeveloped paragraphs. There were anumber of two and three sentence paragraphs.6. Some of you turned in papers that were nearly impossible to read. In otherwords, I was not able determine the logic of what you were trying to say due toserious problems with sentence structure, word choice, punctuation andspelling. Although I do not ask that you write error-free sentences, I need to beable to understand your papers in order to evaluate them. So please payattention to your sentence structure.7. Proof read your papers before submitting them.8. Remember that in the future short papers will be given the grade of N/C, s omake sure you double space and use 12-point type and standard margins asper our
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